Reaching out, I slipped the black letter from my pillow. I wished I could say I was surprised when I found it on my doorstep that morning. I knew it was coming. Welcomed my fate even before I stepped up to the door.
Nicely done. You kept me on the edge of my seat with the will she, won’t she, then the grand finale, fireworks display. You know, you’re not the first we’ve played this game with. The sacrifices are as old as Ruckus Royale herself, and many have accepted the challenge of denying us what is ours to take.
You will not be the last, but you are the first to create a game just for you.
This time it’s personal.
You’ll forgive me if I skip the shit about birds and metaphors. That was never my style.
It’s our turn to play, and it’s different rules from here on. I’m going to come up with something extra fun for you. Starting with choosing someone you actually care about to motivate you to not leave things to the last minute.
Where’s that sister of yours, by the way?
Stay psycho, bitch.
Love ya. XOXO
I dropped my hand, letting the letter flutter to the floor.
Once again, it’s between me and my stalking shadow.
No, they weren’t a shadow. At least those go away in the dark.
I jumped at my phone going off. A text from Paris.
Paris: I feel bad about pushing you to go to Ruckus. I had nightmares all night.
Me: It wasn’t your fault. It’s that poor man I feel sorry for. Did he have family?
For someone who vomited three times the night before and twice that morning, I was lying like an expert bullshitter.
Paris: Heard on the news his parents moved out of town a few years ago and he lived with his girlfriend. I don’t know what’s going to happen. People think my brother’s responsible for this.
My stomach contracted. I was thankful there was nothing left in there to heave. Say what you will about Cairo, and there was plenty I had to say about him, he was Paris’s brother and she loved him. What she was going through right now was my fault.
This was why I didn’t want friends. They were another stone on my chest, crushing me with guilt.
Me: Cairo’s dad is the sheriff. He won’t arrest his own son without undeniable evidence.
And likely not even then.
A flash of anger tightened my grip on the phone. Look at that, there was room for me to feel something other than guilt. One thing Jack Sharpe succeeded at during his reign, making me a lifelong enemy.
Paris: Cairo and Jack have a rough relationship, but you’re right, he won’t let Cairo go down for something he didn’t do.
Paris: Today’s a shit day to go with an awful night. How about we hang out tonight? Just me, you, a bowl of popcorn, and a stack of Doctor Who dvds. You in?
My smile didn’t reach my eyes. There was nothing I wanted more than to spend a night the way I used to. With my favorite people and my favorite doctor.
I closed out the text window and called Ivy.
The dial tone sounded on repeat till Ivy’s voice filled my ear.
“Hey, this is Ivy. You know what to do.”
“Ivy, it’s Rainey. I know you’re busy living your big city life with your own big city demands, but— but I could really use my big sister right about now. I’m sorry for l-last time.” My throat constricted around the words. “I hate that we fought. I said a lot of stupid things that I didn’t mean, but I do mean this: I love you. You’re my best friend and always will be.
“Please, call me back,” I whispered. “I just want to talk to you. Please.”
I ended the message and waited. Half an hour passed. Then one. Then two.
Ivy did not call.
Wiping my face, I typed my reply to Paris.
Me: That sounds amazing. I can’t tonight, though. I’m going up to the farm to get some things. I’m running low. Doctor Who marathon tomorrow night?
Paris: Tomorrow it is. We’ll do it at my place. I’ve got a killer theater setup in my room. Just wait until you see it. You’ll never want to leave and we’ll be weirdo hermit ladies together.
Me: Lol. Not sure if we qualify as hermits if we do things together. Either way, I’ll bring the caramel popcorn.
Paris: Yay! Thank you so much. I need to get my mind off everything.
I tossed my phone somewhere behind me, not caring that it fell off the bed.
There’s nothing to worry about, Paris. This would all be over soon.
Climbing off the bed, I went to my closet. My work to find Cavendish mocked me with every article and string. In the end, I didn’t really know anything at all. I saved a life, but it wasn’t mine. I became a monster to stop a monster, and a new one sprung up in his place.