“Put her in the drawing room.”
I smile to myself. Once again, fate is giving me a helping hand. I don’t need to go get her. She’s walked right into my house. She won’t be leaving it any time soon.
SIX
KELLY
* * *
Idecide to go see him because of the result I get. I was expecting it but it’s still a surprise when I see it in front of me.
I line up the test next to the others by the sink. Three in a row. All of them are positive.
I’m pregnant.
I can’t believe it. I mean, I guessed when I missed my period that there was a chance but I’ve missed them before sometimes. I’m not the most regular of women. But this time, something was different.
I’m pregnant. It’s indisputable. I remember what he said to me. Call me if you’re pregnant. I could have laughed. What are the odds? Turns out they’re one in one.
I’m looking at the tests. All of them positive. One could be a fluke but three? It’s still hard to believe. I’ve got a baby growing inside me. Not only a baby, it’s mine and Ricardo’s. A mafia Don is the father. That’s a big fucking problem.
I’m home alone, sitting in the bathroom, wondering what I’m going to tell my parents.
Dad’s gone to visit mom in hospital. Against all the odds, he’s walking again. The physical therapist has done an amazing job with him. He’s got a limp but he’s still doing way better than they expected. He’s been to Jody’s grave every day since he got out. Same routine. Her grave then on to the hospital. Doesn’t talk much about what happened.
There’s one thing he’s tried to talk to me about. Where the money’s come from to pay for all the bills. I just swept the conversation into the long grass, told him I’d been able to get the insurers to play ball.
I don’t think he believes me but at least he’s let the matter rest for now. I can’t tell him I took cash from Ricardo Bianchi. Can’t tell him who’s covering the bills. He’ll only worry, tell me I’ll have to repay it all with interest someday.
I don’t care about that. All I care about is that we’re not going to lose the house and mom can concentrate on recovering from her injuries.
I’m pregnant.
My thoughts come back to that simple fact. My life was going one way before I came into the bathroom this morning. Now it’s going along a completely different track.
I have to go see Ricardo.
I tried my best to forget him. I managed to walk away despite every fiber of my being wanting to stay with him after we’d had sex. It was made easier to walk when he started acting like it was a business deal that was concluded. But once I left the room, it was like I’d left a part of me with him, trapped with him. That part still calls out to me to come back.
My heart still beats fast whenever I think about it all. How forceful he was, how dominating. I never thought I’d like something like that but, turns out, submitting to him was the sexiest thing I’ve ever done.
I couldn’t stay. My feelings for him were too much. I couldn’t handle them. I knew that no good would come of remaining next to him after we were done. He’s an arrogant criminal. I’m not. It’s that simple. I can’t get tied up with someone like that. What would my parents think of me?
I wanted to send the money back but couldn’t think how to do it without seeing him again. And if I saw him again, I’d never be able to refuse him anything. Those eyes. It’s all in those eyes of his. One look at him and I crumble like a crushed cookie.
I want to move on. Only my heart is already entwined with his, no matter how hard I try to forget him.
I’m more than tied up with him now. I’m connected to him forever. We’re going to have a child together.
I’ve got to talk to him about it, find out what he wants to do. I can’t keep this from him. It wouldn’t be fair.
I look up at the ceiling in the bathroom, letting out a sigh. All this time I’ve spent trying to forget how good he made me feel and I was almost there. Now, I’ve been dealt a hand of cards that I never expected.
I didn’t think I’d have kids until I was married. I didn’t think it would happen for years. Here I am, twenty-two, pregnant, unmarried. Travel agent. Wannabe singer. Penniless except for the money he’s given me. What a catch, right?
A thought strikes me. What if he doesn’t want anything to do with the baby?
The thought makes me feel sick. I refuse to engage with it. I’ll go see him, work it all out after that.