I SHUT DOWN my issues.
It wasn’t easy, but it was easier than it had ever been before. I tuned out the part of my brain that said I wasn’t good enough or pretty enough or deserving of this man. Instead, I focused on the heat in his eyes and reminded myself of how patient he’d already been with me. How kind. How honest. This moment was a long time coming for me, and the time was right.
Damien was right.
I could tell from the way his eyes lightened and then darkened that he definitely wanted me. And I was definitely ready for more. I’d known it the whole time I’d been writing that scene where Shaelynn dreamed of Damien touching her. I just flat-out had not wanted to let her have him first. I’d been saving this moment for me.
His shirt came off in a blur of burnished muscle and gray poplin. The tie, the shirt, the tee beneath it...all gone. He stared at me with an unmistakable glint in his hazel eyes. He wanted me badly. But he had every intention of treating me right.
My skin got goose bumps under the water. Pleasure spun through me just beneath the skin, sending my nerves on high alert. My breasts beaded so tight they ached, and my thighs pressed against a heat that didn’t have anything to do with the hot tub.
“Don’t. Move.” He backed away, ducking into the adjacent bathroom. I heard drawers open and bang closed again.
When he reappeared, he had an armful of fluffy white towels and a handful of silver foil packets that he tossed on the decking around the tub.
“Condoms. A lot of them.” I said it aloud, just because the whole encounter felt surreal. I wasn’t sure if I wanted it to feel like a fantasy. Or 100 percent reality.
A little of both, maybe.
I did not want to mess this up.
“I figured I’d be very, very clear about what I want, too.” He gave me a pirate’s grin—all white teeth and wickedness. “But I understand if those condoms are just wishful thinking on my part. Better to have them and not need them than to...”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “I get it. Easier to stay in the mood if we’ve got them nearby.” I remembered how I froze last time when he wanted to move from the staircase to a bedroom. This way, if things got heated, we could stay in the moment.
I could keep my insecurities at bay.
“You can still write the scene to play out however you want it, Miranda,” he assured me. “You’re in charge.”
I shook my head. “My imagination isn’t this good.”
My breath caught. A shiver ran through me. I could never have written this. Him. Imagining that gorgeous, hard body of his all over me was easy. But I would never have guessed the prelude. The lead-in. The way his eyes smoldered as he unfastened his pants.
My eyes dropped south, drawn by the sight of what was going on beneath the belt.
“All for me,” I whispered, half to myself and half to the part of me that was Shaelynn.
I was pretty sure that she was cheering me on from somewhere deep in my subconscious. No matter how nervous I was, I had the heart of a gutsy girl, damn it.
Damien had the rest of his clothes off before I could blink, his thick erection jutting from between his hips. I think maybe he was giving me time to get used to the idea of being with him. The condoms. The nakedness. He was giving me a last chance to bail out if I needed it.
Apparently he didn’t realize how committed I was to this program.
“Please hurry,” I urged, reaching wet arms toward him. Once he kissed me, I’d be okay.
He dropped onto the edge of the tub just as I arched up. He slid into the water and I shifted onto his lap. His arms wrapped around me, the raw strength of him obvious even as he held me gently.
Sensations bombarded me, from the tickle of hair on his thighs along mine to the musky, male scent of his warm skin. I looked up into his hazel eyes for a second before his mouth landed on mine and he kissed me.
My breasts flattened against his chest, the peaks beading and aching. I cupped his chin and cradled his face, craving every angle of the kiss imaginable, wanting to eat him up. Tension coiled inside me, a flagrant, hot awareness of him. But he moved slowly, teasing my mouth with purposeful swipes of his tongue, nipping my lower lip with his teeth and making me gasp with sharp pangs of want.
“I want this,” I said aloud, making sure he knew it. I’d been waiting for so long to have this kind of kiss. “I want you.”
He broke the contact, his eyes boring into mine while the steam from the hot tub swirled around us, sealing us together in a white veil.
“I dreamed about this,” he confided, fingers splayed along my spine.
“Me, too.” Since before I even met him. Although the dreams had gotten far more specific and tantalizing since Damien gave my sensual imaginings a definite focus.