One by one, people quieted, until he had the attention of most the senior class. With a confident grin, he said the words I’ll never forget.
“Maddy, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you. You’re it for me. Please, say yes. Say you’ll be my forever. Marry me?”
My smile was forced.
My fingers shook as I let him put the ring on my left hand as I nodded and pulled him in for a kiss, because I didn’t trust my mouth to form the word, “yes,” when my heart was screaming. “no, not yet!”
People cheered.
And I started to cry.
People probably assumed they were tears of joy.
They’d been tears of fear, tears of dread.
Tears of absolute heartbreak.
And then the whispers started; the video picked them up. Whispers about getting knocked up, divorce bets, cheating bets, and laughter about the local girl never making anything of herself. “Knew she’d be stuck here the day she got into NYU.”
The room was silent around us… extremely uncomfortable, but somehow necessary.
Jason gripped the edge of the table he was leaning on so hard his fingers turned white. “I never watched it.”
“What?” I had to have heard him wrong. “You never watched the proposal?”
He shook his head. “Too painful… and now I really wish I would have.”
My chest ached as Max slowly rose from the couch, followed by everyone else. Noises of them grabbing food and talking in hushed tones suddenly filled the very small living room.
I needed to sit.
Jason didn’t move.
I hugged a couch cushion to my chest and waited.
He exhaled slowly and then turned his glare to me. “You weren’t even excited.”
I opened my mouth to speak.
He just shook his head. “Those weren’t tears of joy, Maddy. I mean, what the hell? Why even date me? Why stick with me so long? Make me think you loved me and then pull that shit?”
“Ja-son—” I choked on his name, my tongue suddenly heavy, “—you know why. I wasn’t ready. We weren’t ready. I was so afraid, so damn scared I’d resent you eventually, or you’d resent me. I just… I know you saw us as an adventure — you said so last night — but when I saw our path, it was so uncertain, I just panicked! Plus, didn’t you hear them? All of the people whispering about us? I didn’t want us to become a statistic. I was young, stupid!”
“You didn’t trust us.” He sighed. “You didn’t trust me.”
Tears spilled over my cheeks as I confessed, “I knew Levi was leaving the next day for the city. I was sure that he wouldn’t say anything to anyone — especially you.”
“Oh yeah, why’s that?”
“Because he was jealous of you, all right? He always had been. You had everything he wanted. He was backup quarterback, never really had a girlfriend, and here you are, the golden boy. It was one thing he could take from you, so I let him. And he did.”
The room was silent.
Jason nodded then grabbed a pair of keys and slammed the front door behind him.
Tears welled in my eyes as Max, Colt, Reid, and their wives, all came back into the room.
Becca hit Max with a pillow, followed by popcorn, Twizzlers, and, from Colt, almonds.