chapter twelve
“Asking a girl out is difficult, especially if you have a nervous twitch whenever you try to say your own name. My best advice is to lead with the body, follow with the words. For example, I might lean in, smile, look away shyly, reach for my drink and graze her fingertips, then blush on cue. Oh shucks, did I just touch you? And then, when she finally locks eyes on me, I drop the bomb… I’m Max Emory, and you? Works. Every. Time. Then again, it could just be because the universe freaking loves me — it’s why I get to take over one day.”
~From Max Emory’s Guide to Dating and Other Important Life Lessons
Jason
I dreamt of unicorns being set on fire.
They were extremely unfriendly, and one had Max’s face and a goat’s tail. I jolted awake to an IV pumping me full of fluids, and something heavy on my right foot.
My brain was a bit fuzzy I remembered yelling.
Kicking the tire of my car.
Max.
And lightning.
“Son of a bitch!” I pressed my hands to my throbbing head.
Max kicked the bed with his foot as if he was afraid to reach out and touch me.
Reid and Colt walked in with Starbucks in hand and grins on their faces.
“Took quite a spill back there, slugger.” Max had his sunglasses pulled low, a sucker hanging out of his mouth. “How are you feeling?”
“Like I wish I had my sidearm,” I rasped, my eyes greedily searching for the thing so I could put him down.
“I touched it,” Max confessed, making me groan and close my eyes.
“Don’t worry,” Colton added, “He was supervised, and it wasn’t loaded. Took the clip out the minute he started gazing at it as if it was a steak.”
“I like big guns. They remind me of my giant cock,” Max announced.
The nurse chose that wonderful time to walk in and wave at Max, who just winked back at her. She grabbed my chart and then stumbled when she laid eyes on Reid. They all did. He had this… thing about him that made women stumble all over themselves.
Colt cleared his throat then elbowed Reid. We had taken turns reminding him not to smile too long.
“Right.” She kept reading and then felt my forehead. Her hands were cold, the coolness refreshing. “You were struck by lightning, Mr. Caro. We ran tests, and the only thing that seems to be wrong with you is your toe. We bandaged it up, but there’s really nothing more we can do—”
“They have to amputate,” Max said seriously.
And like an idiot, I believed him.
She gave him a scolding look then tucked her dark hair behind her ear as if she was seconds away from asking him if he wanted to go get coffee, and needing to make herself more appealing by giving him her best side.
Unbelievable.
“He’s kidding. Your toe’s going to be just fine. Try to get some rest. You’ve been through a lot today.”
I eyed Max. “No, really?” Sarcasm dripped off every word while I continued to stare the psycho down, but he just shrugged as if it wasn’t his presence that caused the universe to hate me.
“Take today and the rest of the weekend to rest, all right? No… um… strenuous activities.” Her cheeks pinked.
“Oh, that won’t be a problem,” Max interrupted. “He’s—”
I kicked him with my good foot, shutting him up.