“Are you okay?” she whispered.
A giant lump formed in my throat. It felt like if I spoke, it might move and then all the feelings stuck behind it would rush to the surface. So I shook my head.
“Oh, Colby. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.”
I couldn’t believe she was trying to console me. It should’ve been the other way around. Instead, it was yet another testament to the fact that I’d fallen for the kindest, most beautiful soul on the planet. I tried to swallow, but it was no use. I couldn’t hold back anymore. Tears streamed down my face as I took her cheeks into my hands. “I am so fucking in love with you that it hurts, Billie. I hate that I’m causing you pain. And I hate that I just told you I loved you for the first time today, when this day has been so ugly. I wanted it to be a day you could look back on, filled with nothing but good memories.”
Matching tears formed in Billie’s eyes. “It’s three thirty AM, Colby. Yesterday was filled with bad memories, but we still have time to fill today with good ones. Let’s not look back anymore and just move forward and choose to be happy, because I love you, too.”
I shook my head. “I have no idea what I did to deserve you.”
She smiled. “That’s how I know this is real. Because true love is when you both feel like you’ve found someone you don’t deserve.”
CHAPTER 24
Billie
One early morning a few weeks later, when Colby was still sleeping, I lay in bed next to him, thinking how lucky we were that things had been quiet lately.
How was any peace possible, given the sham wedding? Well, Maya had disappeared from sight for a while. And that was a blessing.
Knock on wood.
Several times.
I didn’t want to jinx this. But I hoped she stayed away as long as possible.
We’d had nearly three weeks of this ignorant bliss. It was almost possible to pretend the nightmare had never happened. Almost. I’d had a dream the other night that she’d walked in on Colby and me having sex, demanding that I get off her “husband.” I’d woken up in a cold sweat. That was one of several dreams I’d had about her. In another, she’d told Saylor she was her mother, and Saylor burst into tears. In the dream, I couldn’t tell if they were happy tears or sad ones, and I woke up before I figured it out. So while Maya remained out of sight for the time being, I wished I could say she was totally out of mind, too. I’d take out of sight over nothing, though.
Until this whole thing was over, there would be a dark cloud hanging over us. And I knew the current reprieve could end at any moment, since Colby would be scrutinized soon by the immigration people. But their lag in action was our gain. And I wasn’t going to take a second of this break for granted.
It was 6 AM when I felt Colby rubbing my back. I rolled over to meet his handsome face.
“I want you before we have to get up,” he said groggily.
I swear, this man got horny in his sleep. He couldn’t have been awake more than two seconds before he’d decided he wanted sex. And even though I wasn’t totally awake yet, I was always up for sex with him. Lately he’d been more insatiable than ever. Ever since I’d started spending a few nights a week at his place, the situation had gotten more intense. We always made sure we got up before Saylor did, though, so she’d find us in the kitchen instead of the bedroom. She always seemed happy to see me, and so far, nothing awkward or damaging had happened during my sleepovers. She appeared to want me here just as much as I did.
Earlier this week, Colby had spent several hours in his room fixing his squeaky bed to make it quieter. Dude took the assignment very seriously. He wouldn’t let up until the bed no longer made any sound when pressure was applied to the mattress—all because he didn’t want me making excuses for why we couldn’t have sex in his bed. The noise factor had been one of the reasons I’d been hesitant to start spending the night at his apartment in the first place. Operation Kill Squeak involved replacing his mattress with one made of quieter memory foam that didn’t bounce. He also tightened a bunch of bolts on the bedframe. Needless to say, we’d tested it multiple times, and it was a banging success.
I curled into him. “What did you have in mind this morning?”
“I was thinking you could ride me. You know…if you felt so inclined.”
“I’m inclined to think you’d take me any way I’d give it to you right now.”