But that doesn’t automatically mean they’re criminals, does it?
I highly doubt Kelly would date an outright criminal.
A bad boy, fine, but…
And then my thoughts turn to ash because I can’t think of Kelly. Not now.
“Do you need any help?”
The lady shakes her head. “No, but thank you for offering.”
“Okay… Well, I’ll see you again. I wasn’t able to get my tattoo finished.”
“Would you like somebody else to….”
“No, sorry, but no,” I say, quickly heading for the door. “I want Jamie to do it.”
Even if I don’t know who he is, I add silently.
I rush out of the tattoo studio, the wind kissing cooly at the fresh tattoo…or half of it. I’m not even sure whose name is on there now, Mom or Dad.
I keep thinking about how quickly Jamie went for that gun right away.
“Jennifer.”
I turn as the receptionist calls my name. She’s standing at the door, leaning into it, showing her tattooed arm.
“Yeah?”
“The boss asked me to give you a ride home. And to answer any questions you have.”
“The boss.” My skin shivers, a physical memory—no, reliving what we did. Like it’s happening all over again. “Jamie.”
“Okay,” I say. “Yes, thank you. I’m so sorry. I can’t remember your name.”
“Peggy,” she replies. “And don’t worry about it.”
“So, did you get the bus downtown?” Peggy asks as she guides her big car through the city. It’s like a small tank.
“Yeah,” I tell her, struggling to act normal.
Icky thoughts come to me like she’ll be able to smell what Jamie and I did. But then they’re not icky anymore. They make me think of the way he went crazy at the end, snarling as he licked me.
“You don’t drive?” Peggy says.
“No.” I clear my throat. “I’m going to start learning soon. But lessons are expensive, and…well, it doesn’t matter.”
“I don’t mind listening. It’s a long ride. Must’ve been even longer by bus.”
“Yeah,” I nod, thinking of the journey, my belly buzzing as I thought about Jamie.
But I never dreamed he’d want me back.
What about Kelly?
Fuck fuck fuck.
“Are you okay?” Peggy comes to a stop at a red light, glancing over at me. “You’re not going to puke, are you?”
“No.” I try to laugh it off. “Just the tattoo, I guess.”
“I’ve got salves I can give you.”
“Thank you.”
We say nothing for a while, Peggy drumming her fingers against the steering wheel.
“So….”
I can’t hold back anymore. “Is Jamie a criminal?”
Peggy sighs as she pulls away from the red light, jerking the stick into place. “This is an odd situation for me, I have to say. The boss has told me to answer any questions.”
“Okay, so….”
“But it’s not normal. I don’t understand. You’re Kelly’s sister, right?”
“Yeah.” I swallow a big lump of guilt, shame, and self-hate. What the heck am I doing?
“So are you two together, then? You and Jamie?”
“No,” I say, even as every part of me wants to scream yes.
I want the closeness, lust, and passion I felt for bringing our future into being. I want a life where I teach and care for my family, and my man, him….
He does what? Tattoos people?
And takes guns from safes?
He’s my man in my mind already.
“He’s a stranger to me,” I whisper. “Mostly. We’ve spoken a few times at parties. I thought he hated me.”
“But you booked a tattoo with him.”
“Yes.”
“And he pushed you to the front of the line.”
My whole being tenses up at that, the idea of Jamie giving me special treatment.
“Maybe he wanted to do Kelly a favor,” I say quietly. “After the breakup.”
“He’d do her a favor?” Peggy snorts. “Okay then.”
“Why wouldn’t he?” I snap, feeling my cheeks blushing but not caring.
Except it makes me think of when he made them blush.
“What do you know about their relationship?”
I look out the window at the passing city. I can’t even think about Kelly and Jamie, together, the way we were and more…Oh, no, this is bad. I can’t believe this. What have I done?
I’ve betrayed her.
The kiss, stolen, hungry, both of us….
And I can never take it back.
“Jennifer?” Peggy says loudly.
“I’m fine.” I sit back, breathing slowly. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize. A situation like that can be scary. Especially if you’re not used to it.”
At first, I think she’s talking about what Jamie and I did. But she means the gun. The shattered window. The brick with the note on it.
“What do you know about the breakup?” I ask, changing the subject.
“I can’t tell you that,” Peggy said.
“Why not?”
“I told Kelly I wouldn’t.”
I grit my teeth, wanting to scream, and hit the dashboard. I feel like I’m sprinting headfirst into a brick wall.
“So she’ll talk about it with everyone except for me, then,” I snap. “I thought…Oh, she doesn’t want to talk about it with anyone. But nope. Just me.”
I fold my arms, thinking of Kelly, how close we’ve always been. I leaned on her after mom and dad, and I’ve done my best to let her lean on me since. But maybe she doesn’t see me that way.