Shit, I fought the emotion and tears burning in my eyes. We had both been incredibly devastated and agreed to not try for another baby.
“I want to name him Izan. Are you okay with that?”
I swallowed thickly. “Yes, sweetheart.”
“Valerie is going to be so happy. With all the babies in the club, she’s asked me why we haven’t had another. I always tell her it’s up to God.”
“It is.”
“I wish we could tell everyone, but we should wait. Just to be sure I don’t lose this one and, as I said, to let the dust settle after we get Brynne.” She sighed dreamily and rubbed her tummy. “Izan, you are so loved, baby boy.”
I suddenly felt old as Tina prattled on about the baby. How would I keep up with another kid? How would I teach him to ride a motorcycle? My patience for teaching was nonexistent. I’d probably be a grumpy father, and my kid wouldn’t like me.
Tired. I was plain tired.
I wouldn’t be retiring anytime soon now. Wouldn’t have my old lady all to myself like I’d been dreaming of and counting the days until Valerie graduated high school.
Another baby.
I could do this.
I just needed to get through the next few weeks, and then I could prepare to be a dad again.
Izan Montez, I want you son. I hope your mama isn’t wrong and you’re a girl.
14
Brynne
I put the last framed photo into the box and taped it. My bedroom was all packed up. Nothing but my dress and gown hung in the closet for commencement, and my bed linens were on my bed. I’d live out of my suitcase until the big day, then walk across the stage to receive my diploma.
Four years of studying late to ace my tests and maintain my GPA were almost done. I wasn’t the least bit proud of my accomplishments or excited about the future. I had nothing to look forward to.
Why?
Because all I could do was think of Joseph. I hadn’t seen him all week. Not around campus, in the dining hall, or any of theusualplaces.
I felt empty. Sad. Alone.
It was dumb. I’d set out to avoid him and all men until after graduation. Chanted about healthy boundaries, and yet, I was barely functioning.
A knock had me turning around.
“Wow, you weren’t kidding when you said you were packing up your room.” Gina entered with wide eyes. “It’s so sparse now.”
“Yeah. It looks like it did the day we moved in here.”
“Mhm.” She forced a tight smile. “Are you okay? I know I screwed up last weekend at the lake. I shouldn’t have gone after Joe.”
I winced. “Will you please not call him, Joe? It’s Joseph.”
“See? You really like him, don’t you?”
I sat on my bed. “Yes, I like him a lot. He just keeps jerking me around. One second he wants me, and then the next, he’s pushing me away. I don’t understand what’s up with him.” Not true. He had told me about his mom dying and being afraid to lose another loved one. My heart had broken for him.
“You both looked pretty hot and heavy going at each other on the sand. Like you’d had sex before.”
I sensed Gina was fishing for information. “Nope. We haven’t had sex.”