“I’m so sorry.” I threw my arms around him and hugged him tightly. We were making progress, and I was so grateful but also fearful. “I can’t imagine what you’ve been through.” And the floodgates crashed open. I had known his grief because I’d lost my mom too. “My mom died in a car accident.”
“Jesus, Brynne.” He squeezed me tightly. “I’m sorry, baby.”
“She tucked me into bed, read my favorite story, and kissed me goodnight. I never saw her again. Losing her left a huge crater in my heart, one I never thought would heal. But then I met you.” I pulled back when his chest rattled against mine.
“Same,” he said with glimmering eyes that reminded me of the shiny black marbles I’d played with when I was a kid. “Before I met you, I never believed I’d feel this way about anyone.”
“Tell me how you feel.” I caressed his cheek with my hand and pressed my lips to his. “Tell me, Joseph. Don’t hold back.” My heart hammered against my ribs, my body heating as I kissed him softly. Nothing had ever felt more right. It would be easy to lose myself in him if he would only give in to me.
Kiss me back.
Touch me.
Want me.
“Show me how you feel, Joseph,” I whispered against his lips. “Don’t deny yourself or me anymore. I’m here to stay if you want me.” I swiped my tongue across his full bottom lip and gripped the back of his neck to hold him in place.
Why was he letting me kiss him but not engaging me? I hated feeling like a desperate, needy woman. Hated the confusion and frustration spreading through me. I doubted my actions. Doubted his vulnerability. Doubted everything.
Had I been wrong about him?
Or was he determined to never let himself love or be loved?
“We can’t, Brynne.” He muttered the words I hated hearing.
I reared my head back and removed my hand from his neck. “I don’t even know what to say.” I panted with my hand against my heart. “How can you declare you feel something for me, then reject me?”
“I’m not good for you. I can’t give you what you deserve, Bonita.”
Tears blurred my vision. “Stop it. I don’t need you to protect me, and you sure as hell don’t get to decide my future.”
“You say that now, but—”
“No. I don’t want to hear it. I thought…” I wiped the wetness off my face with the back of my hands, totally dejected and embarrassed. “I thought we had a connection. I feel it here.” I pounded my hand against my heart. “I feel it in my soul.”
“I should go.” The way he stared at me with indifference crushed what was left of my fragile heart.
“Yeah.” I got to my feet. “You should.”
“Brynne—”
“Please.” I raised my hand. “Don’t say anything else.” I smiled and shook my head, utterly humiliated. “Just don’t say anything else. I’ll see you around.”
And I ran. Ran as fast as I could away from Joseph. He didn’t call after me or follow.
He let me go.
And I couldn’t deal with it like a confident, mature woman. I couldn’t pretend like I didn’t care. Couldn’t rejoin the party and forget about the Latino I’d fallen in love with.
I frantically collected my things as tears streamed down my face. Why wouldn’t he love me back?
“Brynne?” Gina approached. “You okay?”
“I’m leaving.”
“I see that. If I did anything to—”
“You didn’t.” I stared at her for a long second. She didn’t appear to be as drunk as before. “I’m going home.”