My chest ached, my heart burning with regret.
Reality sucked. After tasting Brynne’s soft lips and feeling her tiny hand around my dick, I wanted so much more and had lost my mind.
“Christ.” My cock twitched in my shorts, and I tore my eyes off her. I needed to focus on something else. Anything else other than Brynne’s beauty.
My mom’s pretty face entered my mind. The shame she must’ve felt over my behavior. I could hear her telling me,“Mijo, you know better.”I did, yet, I couldn’t stop myself from feeling this way.
I clasped my hands together and squeezed, so stinkin’ furious with myself. Why couldn’t she be mine? I felt it in my bones; we were made for each other. If we were blood-related, I’d never feel as I do for her. God and biology made it so siblings weren’t attracted to each other. And I might be into kinky shit, but I didn’t do incest. No fucking way I would go there. My mother would turn in her grave.
Wait.
Had Brynne said she was bringing me a hot dog? I avoided them like the plague because they reminded me of my mom. She used to make my dad grill hot dogs every Wednesday, even during winter when the temperature dropped into single digits. Boiling weiners hadn’t been an option for Mom.
I snickered to myself. Damn, it used to put my dad in a pissy mood when she’d make him freeze his nads off. But I knew if given a chance, my dad would do anything to grill her hot dogs again. After Mom’s death, we’d both stopped eating them.
Shit, I didn’t know if I could eat a hot dog without getting sick to my stomach, but I’d try for Brynne.
My mom would’ve loved Brynne. They were both sassy and sweet and probably would’ve become fast friends.
No idiot. If Mom hadn’t died, you wouldn’t have met Brynne.
Maybe not, or perhaps I would have after Tina showed up in bad condition behind the gun shop. Life had a screwy way of bringing two people together. My dad wouldn’t have fallen in love with Tina if my mom had been alive.
I shook the thoughts of the past out of my head, not wanting to imagine the what-ifs. None of it mattered. My mom had been gunned down by an enemy club, then my dad remarried years later, and I had a step-sister.
What in the fuck was I to do now that I’d tasted her lips and humped her until I climaxed? I didn’t think I could control myself anymore.
But I needed to.
11
Brynne
“You don’t have to pretend with me, Joseph. I know these guys aren’t your scene.” I rested my head on his shoulder, feeling super comfortable and relaxed. He might deny liking me more than a friend, but I didn’t believe him. Something was keeping him from me. What could it be?
We’d moved farther away from the others and ate our food under a maple tree. Joseph seemed better but more quiet than usual.
“No, guess they’re not.”
“What is your scene?”
He stiffened. “Not them.”
“So then, not me.” I scooted a few inches away from him and finished off my beer. It was my third. I was a lightweight, and my filter was just about gone. “Why do you think you’re better than the rest of us? I mean, you keep coming around me. Eating lunch with me. Typically that means a guy likes a girl, but how so if we aren’t your scene? Have you just been using me?”
“Take a breath and give me a chance to respond.” He threw his empty can in front of him. “You’re not like them. You’re intelligent and sweet, and you genuinely care about others. If anyone is using anyone, it’s Gina and all the dudes she hooks up with.” He had a point.
“Tell me the truth, Joseph. Did you like kissing me and doing what we did together?” I wasn’t one to beat around the bush. I hoped my directness wasn’t off-putting to him, but I didn’t want to waste time with graduation around the corner. The faster I found out what was holding Joseph back, the better. In my heart, I knew he was the one. I just needed to figure out how to get him to see it.
“Yeah, I did.”
Hope bloomed in my chest. Finally, he admitted his real feelings.
“But nothing can happen between us, Bonita.”
I deflated at his words. “Why not?”
“We’re too different and on a different path.”