I was only fifteen.
My dad had kept his cool but made the boy leave. The next day at school, my boyfriend wasn’t there. Kids were saying he and his family had moved to Europe. It hadn’t made sense because he’d never mentioned moving to me. How could he be there and then gone within twelve hours? And all the way to Europe? Not possible.
When I’d confronted my dad, he’d told me, “Now you know I mean business. Do as you please, Brynne. Just stay a virgin, or else.” My blood had turned cold at his words.
I had never known what really happened to my boyfriend and his family. If I were honest, I had been too afraid of finding out the truth. If my dad had hurt them, it would’ve been my fault.
Performing had become my outlet. My way of expressing myself and finding joy in being alone. Dad probably knew all about it since he’d allowed me to bring boys home. My bodyguard would stay in the hallway, and I knew there were security cameras throughout the house. I assumed there were some in my bedroom too. The thrill and excitement of knowing someone might be watching me satisfied my need for attention.
As I got older and became more interested in sex, I started masturbating and using sex toys. And my hobbies grew from there.
At college, I had all the freedom I desired, but I half suspected my dad kept tabs on me. For some ridiculous reason, my virginity meant a lot to him. Honestly, most people didn’t stay innocent into their twenties. My mom had only been seventeen when she had me. Why was my virginity important to him?
“Hey, Brynne,” Leslie said. She was the oldest staff member at Ted’s. “Haven’t seen you in a while. How’s school?”
“It’s great. Less than three weeks to go.” I smiled and went to the tablet on the wall to see what customer requests were available. I usually did solos, but occasionally I worked with a partner out of spite when my dad was too busy to talk to me. And because I needed physical touch. It was immature and vengeful, but I didn’t care.
I’d felt rejected, ignored, and angry for most of my life. Then I met Joseph. The time we’d spent together had healed some of the broken pieces inside me. I’d let my guard down and opened my heart to the possibilities. He had every right to not want more than friendship. I should be happy he hadn’t outright rejected me. I needed to fix myself, so I could go back to school on Monday, holding my head high and be his friend.
“What are your plans?” Leslie’s deep, husky voice pulled me out of my thoughts. During the day, she worked at her phone sex business and made a damn good living at it. I’d once asked her why she worked at Ted’s club, and she replied, “Honey, I like variety.” And that she did. Leslie even accepted sex with customers.
I wished I could have sex. But my dad likely had eyes on this place. Why did he care if I was a virgin or not? He was such a controlling jerk.
I accepted the request for a brunette in a bedroom setting—my favorite out of all the rooms. “Probably go home to Chicago.” I popped my shoulders and twisted my lips. “Get a job. Adult and stuff.” Because there was no one in Montana to give me a reason to stay.Damn you, Joseph.
“Aww, we’ll miss you around here.”
I started to undress to get ready for my customer. “I’ll miss everyone too.” Not really. Most of the staff was friendly and supportive, like Leslie, but I made it a point to keep relationships casual with everyone except Gina… and Joseph.
“Leslie, room five is ready,” came over the speaker.
“See you later, Brynne.” Leslie sashayed out of the room, wearing a black silk robe.
Finally, alone in the dressing room, I exhaled a deep breath and fixed my makeup. My costume was a basic T-shirt. When I performed in the bedroom, I liked to admire myself in the mirror above the dresser. Guys loved to watch a woman touch herself and hear the sounds she made. I could get lost in my thoughts and recall the times I played with myself at home.
Tonight would be different.
Tonight I needed a release.
Tonight I wanted to forget about Joseph.
“Brynne, bedroom nine is ready,” came over the speaker.
“Yes, let’s do this.” I ran my fingers through my long brown hair and puckered my lips. A zing of excitement shot through my core and my heart rate increased. It’d been almost two months since I performed. I wasn’t the least bit nervous.
In fact, it was quite the opposite. I was relaxed and calm, as if coming home.
There wasn’t a song request, so I could pick whatever I wanted. Madonna’s “Like A Virgin” was my go-to song when in the bedroom. Admittedly, it was weird and creepy, considering Madonna was my mom’s favorite singer. That particular song just worked to get me started. My playlist had four songs by the eighties artist, the ones my mom had played the most.
I’d been young at the time. It never occurred to me to ask why she liked Madonna so much. Never thought she’d die before my tenth birthday.
I shook away thoughts of my mom and entered room nine. A smile graced my lips as I took in the pink walls and white canopy bed. So girlie and feminine. It wasn’t my style, but it took me back to when I was a little girl. Except my walls were yellow, my mom’s favorite color.
What I loved about working at Ted’s was how they catered to their staff. Unless the customer had special requests, we could have things set up just the way we liked.
I retrieved my playlist from the device next to the bed and put it on repeat. Next, I dimmed the lights to my liking and went in front of the mirror.
The music poured out of the speakers, and I absorbed it into my bones. I twirled around and closed my eyes. Swaying my hips, I raised my hands and moved my head to the beat.