3
Brynne
Where had the awkward silence come from? Joseph and I had shared dozens of conversations. Nothing too heavy, of course. Our chats were always light and friendly, usually about school. It had been weird initially, but we’d found our groove and became comfortable together. Or so I had believed.
Was he not comfortable with me anymore? What had changed in the last few hours? Maybe I was delusional, and we’d always been weird.
I chewed on the inside of my cheek and tried to recall our past moments together. Under pressure, my memory went blank. Why couldn’t I remember anything? I drummed my fingers on my cup, frustration building inside me. Why did I feel like I was losing my best friend?
“You okay?”
I raised my gaze to his. “Mhm. Why?”
“You’re fidgeting. Is there somewhere else you need to be?”
“No, nowhere to be,” I blurted in a frantic tone. Crap. Was I giving off a vibe I didn’t want to be there with him? Probably. I wasn’t exactly chatty or focused on him.
“You seem off.”
“So do you.” Okay, now. The end of most relationships started out this way. Nausea set in, and my chest tightened. I couldn’t lose him.
He tilted his head and leaned toward me. His cologne overpowered the scent of my latte in the best way ever. The woodsy, spicy notes mixed with his natural musk should be bottledjust for me.I’d bathe in it every night. Soak my neglected body in the ultimate bubble bath. I’d get myself off in the tub while I imagined his fingers slipping between the folds of my pussy and his sensual voice asking,“What do you want, Bonita? Tell me how to make you feel good.”
“Brynne, where are you?”
I snapped back to the present and ignored the flash of heat in my face. “A bunch of us are going to the lake tomorrow. I’d like for you to come.”
He flinched, a deer-in-the-headlight look replacing his once relaxed expression. He might even be contemplating running out of the café.
“We could swim, hang out and have a good time.” I talked fast so he wouldn’t shoot me down. “There will be food and beer. Lots of girls in bikinis.” Idiot, why did I say that last part? My heart raced, perspiration dampening my armpits.
Joseph hiked a dark, intrigued eyebrow as if considering my invitation because of the girls in bikinis.
Shit, shit, shit!
“It’s beautiful and majestic. Have you ever been?” Screw it. I kept trying to entice him to go to the lake with me. I was confident we were perfect for each other if he’d just give us a chance. The only way to make him see how good we could be together was to get him alone.
“No.”
“No?” I blinked, taken aback by his swift rejection. Now I truly felt like an idiot.
“No, I haven’t been to the lake.”
“Oh.” Relief poured over me. “Then come with me.” I reached for his hand, and he stiffened. “Please, Joseph.”Girl, you just broke your cardinal rule: Never beg a man for anything.
“I don’t swim.”
“You don’t have to get into the water.” I laughed awkwardly, holding his hand like it was my lifeline. To my utter surprise, he didn’t pull away. “We can sit on the shore and talk.”Stop. You’re embarrassing yourself.
“I’m sorry, Bonita. I have plans to visit my friend in the hospital.”
“Oh. Sure.” I released his hand. “Of course. That’s a good idea.” My heart began to crack.
“I’d go, but—”
“No, no.” I reclined in my chair. “I understand.” Not. Clearly, Joseph wasn’t into me. This rejection hurt more than when I was a little girl, and my dad didn’t have time for me.
I drank my latte, wishing the floor would swallow me whole.