“I won’t upset you or make you mad?” She stared at me with her intense gray depths—they mirrored Abe’s.
“No. If something is bothering you, you should tell me so I can help fix it.”
“Hmm.” She went back to eating her dinner.
“Are you not going to tell me what’s on your mind?”
“I’m not ready to.” She munched on a baby carrot.
I wasn’t sure what to make of her refusal to tell me what was going on with her. I’d like to say she never kept secrets, but I sensed she had more than I realized. I might need to give Nova’s teacher a call to see what was going on at school. Or I could wait until I saw Tara at the compound. She was Nova’s second-grade teacher.
“Can I be excused now?” She wiped her hands on a napkin. “I finished all my food.” On fish stick night, she always cleaned her plate.
“Yes, you may. Get your things together for your bath, okay?” I collected my uneaten plate and went to scrap it into the trash.
“Okay.” She removed her plate and took it to the sink. “I have to work on my art project tonight.”
“What kind is it?” She was only in second grade, for goodness’ sake. She shouldn’t have homework. I stepped on the foot pedal to lift the lid on the trash can and scraped the food from my plate into it.
“I have to draw my family tree. Mrs. Fuentes said it’s due in two weeks. She’s going to hang them on the walls so our family can admire them on the last day of school.”
I heaved in a deep breath, feeling sucker punched. A family tree? Could the universe be any crueler? My sweet baby girl only had me to put on her project. I didn’t keep in touch with my parents. I didn’t have siblings. There was no one else except for Abe and his family, if they were in our lives.
He wants to be in your life.
Not happening. He can’t be trusted.
“Mommy, are you okay?”
“What?” I turned my head toward Nova’s concerned voice.
“Look.” She pointed at the floor near my bare feet, where half of my salad fell. “You missed the trash can.”
“Oh, crap.” I wiggled my toes. They were covered in vinaigrette and romaine lettuce. “Go get your clothes for your bath while I clean up my mess.” I reached for the paper towel roll.
“Okay!” She dashed off.
An hour later, we were on the sofa. Nova had asked me to braid her hair after her bath. She’d been uncharacteristically quiet this evening. I sensed it had to do with the family tree assignment. Usually, I’d ask her what was wrong, but I was a coward. I didn’t want to talk about her lack of family members. I didn’t want her to question me about my parents or her dad.
“Mommy?”
“Yes, Nova?” My stomach churned, sensing something unpleasant coming.
“Can I call my dad?”
I knew it.
“No, honey.” Tears burned behind my eyes. Thankfully she couldn’t see me with her back to me.
“Why? I want to ask about his family for my project. I can’t only have you on my paper. Everyone has a mom and a dad and grandparents. Some have brothers, sisters, aunties, uncles, and even cousins. I haven’t no one, Mommy.”
Hold it together, lady.
“What do you want to know? Maybe I can answer your questions.”
“I want to talk to my dad, not you,” she snipped.
“He’s swamped with his work, Nova. I’ve told you before. He’s very busy.” Of course, I was lying to her to protect her heart. She was too young to understand what really happened.