Time seemed at a standstill while I held her with my lips pressed to her head. Strawberry and vanilla filled my lungs as I breathed her in, memorizing every detail about her in case this was the last time I’d be with her. Her soft hair caressed my cheek. Her satin skin seared my hands. Her body molded to mine perfectly as if made for me. Roja would always bemi vidawhether we were together or not. In this moment, I honestly didn’t know which way this would go. She might kick my ass out of her life for good or she might forgive me. Either way, I would never love another after her.
I knew I couldn’t, because this was so much more than I had felt with another.
My heart rate normalized when her’s did. I absorbed her calm energy into my soul, sending up a silent prayer for just one more chance to endeavor to deserve her.
Please Almighty Father, just give me one more chance.
She cleared her throat and sniffled some more. I held my breath as she released a slow, cleansing one. This was it. I sensed she was about to hand me my ass.
“Are we really working through our past, because it sure is painful? Will it be worth it in the end? Will we be glad we fought for us instead of setting each other free? If you say yes, I’ll believe you.” She lifted her chin, locking her eyes to mine.
I winced at her red, swollen cheek. “I’m so sorry I hit you. Let me get you an ice pack.”
“No, just answer me.”
Damn stubborn woman.
“Yes, my love, it’ll be worth it. I feel it in the marrow of my bones. We belong together. You’re my second chance at love, happiness, and a family.”
“Love? And a family?”
“Mi vida, I’ve never needed anyone the way I need you. I’d die without you, baby. My soul would be dust. I’d be a shell of man, begging the Reaper to put me out of my misery. Sounds pathetic and weak, right? But it’s the honest truth.” I’d do anything to fix us. Anything to keep her because I fucking couldn’t lose her.
“You don’t sound pathetic or weak. You’re the strongest man I know.”
I almost snorted. Strong? Maybe physically, but she was the bravest person I knew. She faced her demons, instead of drowning in booze and drugs the way I had. For years she’d been healthy, living a good life.
Dammit, until I came along and made her stumble. Never again.
“I want it all with you. You’re what’s been missing in my life. My other half… my better half. It would kill me to give you up, but if I’m the reason you harm yourself, I’ll walk away. It’d break my heart, but for you, I’d do anything.” I cared too damn much to be the reason Tara burned herself. It would demolish me to let her go, but I would do it out of love. It was the only reason I could.
She dropped her chin to her chest, her narrow shoulders shaking. “Nobody’s ever talked to me the way you do. What about Monica and your son? I don’t want you resenting me for being here when your true love isn’t.”
“En el nombre de Dios, mi vida.”I wrapped my arms around her, kissing her temple over and over. “I could never resent you for what you did not cause. I’ve dealt with my demons. I wanted to confess my sins to you. Vow to protect you with my life. Promise to love you for the rest of our lives.” I lifted her chin and pressed my lips to hers. “Are you listening to me, baby?”
“Mhm, I am. But—”
I put my finger on her lips. “I feel no regret for feeling the way I do about you. I did at first, which is why I took off after the run. But it wasn’t about you. AJ’s death and what happened to Madeline fucked me up. So I left to deal with that shit and say goodbye to Monica and my son. I told them I met a gorgeous redhead who’d brought me back to life. I know they would be happy for us,mi vida.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything. I’m an open book with you.”
“Did you call Monica,mi vida?”
I caressed her soft cheek. “No. I didn’t. I called herflaca.”
“What does that mean?”
I smirked. “Skinny.”
Tara screwed up her beautiful face. “You called her skinny? What kind of endearment is that?”
“I was a teenager. And honestly, I wasn't even ready for love.” I shrugged my shoulders, helping her stand up so we could get back into bed. “Monica was skinny as a rail. Everybody called herflaca.” I removed the towel wrapped around her body. “Get in the bed,mi vida.”
She didn’t argue, climbing in. I removed my bottoms and joined her.
“I’m sorry I flipped out on you. My heart broke for you and all that you lost. I envied the love you have for Monica. It crushed me that you lost your unborn child. I’d do anything to bring them back for you.”