Well, I didn’t want to stay here. I needed to figure this out. Neither of us worked this afternoon. We’d planned to hang out at the beach, make love after lunch, and nap until I needed to get ready for work. Okay, so we probably wouldn’t do much napping.
I breathed in and out. I needed Laney. She would help me get through this and wouldn’t make me feel like a failure. I’d hardly spent any time with her since I got back from Montana, and then Leo and I became a couple. Jeez, I was a horrible friend to run to her after ditching her for Leo.
Okay, not true. We didn’t spend a ton of time together before Leo because I worked so much with my two jobs. But it was true I’d hardly seen her in the last few weeks at the apartment because I was at Leo’s several nights, and for that, I felt awful.
“Listen, I’m sorry about this.” I exited the bathroom and stopped in my tracks. Leo was on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands, elbows resting on his thighs. “Jesus.” I sucked in a breath. “Okay. I… um.” I dug through my tote bag for a pair of shorts and a T-shirt.
“What are you doing?”
“I can’t be here right now.”
“You’re not leaving, Red. We need to figure this out.”
“There’s nothing forusto figure out. I’m the one who might be pregnant.”
“You are pregnant.” He squeezed his head between his hands.
I slipped on my flip-flops. “If I am, I will deal with it.”
“Deal how? You’re not getting an abortion.”
I stared at him, but he still hadn’t looked at me. “I think we both need time to process. I need time to process and to confirm if I am pregnant.”
“You’re. Not. Leaving.” He lifted his head. His glossy blue eyes sucked the air out of my lungs. “Do you hear me? You’re not leaving.”
I shook my head as the floodgates blew open. Tears rained down my face. I turned away, embarrassed for him to see me undone. I never wanted to hurt him, but I had. I ruined his life.
“Don’t cry, Red.” His arms wrapped around me, and his lips were on my neck. His warmth and strength enveloped me. That did it; I fell apart and sobbed.
Leo held me, quietly assuring me everything would be okay. But how could it when he was so obviously devastated?
“We’ll figure it out together, baby. You and me. Not you alone. Not you with Laney. Not you with your parents. You and me. Do you hear me, Red?”
I did hear him, but I couldn’t believe the words pouring out of him. He was being strong for me. It wasn’t because he was happy about a baby, though we still didn’t know if I was pregnant for sure. He was doing this out of obligation, which hurt more than if he just yelled at me out of anger or fear.
Despite what Leo thought of himself, he was a kind and caring man. He treated me better than I’d ever imagined a sexy, bad-boy lifeguard would treat a woman. But we weren’t destined to be together forever; it wasn’t his style. I was just a blip in his bachelor life. We’d only known each other for a short time. Even so, my time with Leo had been everything. I loved him, but I knew he didn’t feel the same. Or if he did, he never breathed a word of it.
Leo lifted me off the ground and carried me to the bed. He cradled me in his strong arms as I continued to sniffle. I didn’t know what to say to him, other thansorry. For some reason, I couldn’t even let that one word pass my lips because I had a feeling it would make him angry.
“We’ll buy a pregnancy test to confirm what I think we both already know. Then you can make an appointment with your doctor. I want you to quit Club R today.”
The appointment I had with my gynecologist yesterday was canceled because she was sick. I hadn’t rescheduled it yet.
I lifted my head off his chest, but his finger was on my lips before I could speak.
“Calm down, Red. You don’t need that fucking job. I know you hate it. You need to rest and take care of yourself and the baby. I’ll take care of you.”
“You aren’t obligated to take care of me. I’m a grown woman. I can manage.”
“There’s the fire I love.” He pressed his lips to my temple and gently stroked my arm. “I know I’m not obligated to take care of you, my stubborn, redheaded beauty. But I want to. I’ve wanted to take care of you from the moment I held you in my arms on the beach the day we met.”
Wait, what?
“You don’t do relationships, commitments, or kids. I saw the fear in your eyes, the agony. I won’t tie you down. You’re not trapped, Leo. You’re still free. Free to do whatever you please. I can raise a baby on my own,ifthere’s a baby.”
Leo growled and flipped me on my back. He settled between my legs and pressed his forehead to mine.
“Goddammit, you know how to piss me off, Red. Yes, it’s true I’m afraid, but not because I feel trapped or tied down. The agony you saw was me freaking the fuck out about being the worst father on the planet. Of letting you and our baby down.” He pushed into my head. “Stop saying if there’s a baby. In my heart, I know there is. I am not going anywhere. Do you hear me, Red? You’re stuck with me. And I’ve never wanted to be stuck to anyone more than you.”