I smirked, cocking my head. “Says who?”
“The girls… Wolf.”
“Fucking Wolf. Did he get his feelings hurt when I snapped at him yesterday?” Wolf was twice my size and a fucking biker. A one-percenter. I was sure he didn’t think twice about me. “What girl complained?”
Derek crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back in his chair. “Doesn’t matter. What’s got you wound up and rejecting pussy?”
“Ah, I see. Monica complained.” I knew the bitch was pissed at me because I turned down her offer to suck me off in the supply closet three nights in a row. She apparently missed my cum after a week of not getting it. Whatever. I didn’t want her anymore, not with Rita fucking Rocha living across the street, taunting me with her tight little ass in shorts that should be illegal to wear.
Derek chuckled, shaking his head. “Dude, it’s Monica. That pussy might be well worn, but her mouth can handle giant cocks with ease.”
“And pencil dicks like yours will get swallowed.” I so didn’t want to be talking about this with Derek. Being a smart-ass was just my way of derailing an unpleasant topic.
He slapped his leg, laughing. “Fuck off, asshole.”
“Just calling it how I see it.”
“Enough. You’re deflecting. I’m worried. Thought I’d ask what’s up.”
“Nothing’s up.” Quite literally.
“I heard through the pussy grapevine that your dick is broken. I got some shit in my desk to help with that… just sayin’.”
I saw red. “Which one of the bitches was talking shit about my dick?”
“All of them. You took ’em home and then left them horny and shit? That’s bad form, my friend.”
I scratched the top of my head. “It’s a woman. She’s cock-blocking me and doesn’t even know it.”
Derek’s blue eyes went wide. “You’re shitting me. You really can’t get it up?”
This was why I never talked. “Fuck off.”
“Man, this is serious. But it’s an easy fix. If she’s cock-blocking you, it’s because you like her.” He tapped his chin with this finger. “You need to fuck her. It’ll get you back on track.”
“Great advice, Dr. Derek.” He wasn’t usually such a pig. He had his own woman issues and had recently started rejecting the ladies too. I was sure he was blue-balled like me. “She’s off-limits.”
“Why’s that?”
“I promised I would leave her alone.”
“Since when do you make promises, much less keep them?”
I tensed my jaw. “Beats the hell out of me. I only ever make promises to Nana. She wants me to stay away from Rita. Says I’ll just hurt her.”
“Fuuuck. That sucks, man. Nana Bea would hand you your ass if you broke your promise.”
“Exactly.” I respected Derek a little more for understanding my predicament. He knew my struggles with trusting women too. I told him all about it one night over a bottle of tequila. As I said, he was a good guy and not usually such a pig.
“What’re you gonna do?”
“Suffer. Which means so will the rest of you, because I’ve got gallons of pent-up sexual frustration coursing through my dick and no chance of relief unless it’s my hand and thoughts of Rita.”
“Rita… the name slides off the tongue like warm honey. Bet she tastes just as sweet.”
I was out of my chair with my hands around his neck. “Don’t you ever talk about Rita, think about her, or breathe her name again. You get me?”
Derek raised his hands in surrender, a cocky curl in the corner of his lip. “Yeah. Never happen again.”