Their presence made me anxious, Leon’s warnings about them echoing in my head. Sometimes, knowing they’d be there in the dining hall was just too much, so I’d find a place to eat outside so I could avoid them. I wanted to warn Inaya about them, but I didn’t know what I could tell her. The things I was worried about would sound ridiculous to anyone who hadn’t seen the things I’d seen.
It would sound ridiculous to anyone who hadn’t learned to trust the words of a demon.
There was a courtyard behind the library where I’d sometimes eat, seated at a bench tucked into a little alcove against the building. It was cold, and my fingers felt numb as I ate my sandwich, but I was determined to tough it out. Victoria had been texting me all day. The number of events she’d invited me to over the past week was absurd. Every time I turned one down, she’d come up with another one.
It would have seemed so innocently friendly, but I believed Leon’s warning. I wasn’t safe with the Hadleighs.
“There you are.”
I nearly dropped my sandwich. Jeremiah stood there, his hood pulled up, smiling. The rain was dripping from his coat, and I scooted over quickly as he took a seat on the bench beside me. I knew his last class was all the way on the other side of campus. There was no reason for him to be back here – unless he’d been looking for me.
“Aren’t you cold?” He looked at my shivering hands, and before I could say a word, he enfolded my hands in his. I tensed up, instinctually wanting to pull away. His fingertips were cold, and he blew on my hands to warm them.
I tried not to shudder. “It gets too stuffy inside,” I said. “Sometimes it’s nice to just be alone, with my thoughts.”
He paused, his eyes locked onto mine. “Alone with your thoughts…yeah. I get that.” He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Victoria was worried you didn’t text her back. So I figured I’d look for you.”
I’d felt my phone buzz. I hadn’t even bothered to look. “Oh. Well. Here I am. Totally fine. My phone died earlier, so…” I shrugged. Please go away. Go away, go away.
He chuckled, shaking his head. He still hadn’t let go of my hands. “I have an extra charger. You can borrow it when we go back inside.”
“Well, I have to get to my next class in just a few minutes, so –“
“Do you? Your next class? Already?” He glanced at his watch. “You still have thirty minutes, don’t you?”
I pulled my hands back. There was no one else back here. No one came to this courtyard, especially not in the pouring rain. “I’m trying to get there earlier to talk to the professor.”
He nodded slowly. “Right, right. Okay. You’re funny, Rae.” I didn’t think this was funny. Frankly, he didn’t sound very amused either. “Have you been talking to Everly?”
“Everly? No, I…I thought she was missing. I haven’t seen her.”
He smiled widely. “Oh, she’s not missing. There’s no need to use a word like that. Might get people alarmed. She just left home. She’d get these crazy ideas in her head, and end up scaring herself.”
I began to collect my things. “I really do need to go –” He grabbed my arm, hard. I stared at his hand, then back up at his face, and said, “If you don’t fucking let go, I’m going to start screaming.”
He waited a beat before he released me. “Sorry. Sorry, Rae. It’s just…I was worried that maybe Everly had started a rumor, and you’d heard it.”
I narrowed my eyes. “What kind of rumor?”
“She’d come up with reallysickstuff, Rae,” he said, leaning close. His breathe smelled weird, like fish. “She had this wild idea that me and Victoria were trying to kill her.” He laughed. “Crazy, see? Who would come up with an idea like that about their own family?”
I nodded. Anything to get him to let me leave. “Yeah, crazy.”
“I just wanted to make sure you didn’t believe something like that,” he said softly. “We’re not like that. We just want you to feel welcome.” His hand, leaning against the bench, had moved closer. His knuckles were touching my thigh. “I just want you to feel at home.”
I got up abruptly, hugging my bag to my chest, my sandwich still sitting on the bench. “Well, I haven’t talked to her, and I’ll let you know if I see her.”
He leaned back on the bench. He wasn’t smiling. He was just staring at me, his eyes moving over me slowly. “Alright. I’ll see you at the Halloween party, right?”
I did my best to smile. “Yeah, of course. Wouldn’t miss it.”
“Good girl.” I shuddered from head to toe. That wasn’t something I ever wanted to hear out of his mouth. “I’ll be seeing you then. Wouldn’t want you to be late to that little meeting with your professor.”
The cabin was so quiet, especially with the rain pouring for days on end. Quiet and lonely. I enjoyed some alone time, and Cheesecake was an affectionate companion, but there was a void he couldn’t fill. I tried to stay occupied with homework. I tried to ignore my growing anxiety about the Halloween party.
I tried not to think of Leon. I tried not to remember how good his arms felt around me.
But when I wasn’t having nightmares of my name being called from long, dark tunnels, I was dreaming of him. Dreaming of his voice, of his lips on mine, of his strong hands holding me. I dreamed of his words, again and again.