My chest pangs. It’s an odd feeling. I can’t stand Neo, but I hate what’s happened to his friendships with Crew and Jagger. I feel so selfish.
“Hey.” He tips my chin. “You’re worth it all, okay?” It’s like he read my mind, but did he hear the parts where I said I’m selfish? Because if he did, he might agree.
“We have to fix this. I’m not Neo’s biggest fan, but he has to be feeling some sort of way over all this.”
“Like, sadness? Or, helplessness? No,” he shakes his head, “Neo doesn’t feel those emotions. If anything, he’s feeling an abundance of rage and he’s devising a plan of attack against us all. Don’t feel bad for him.”
But, I do.
Jagger comes back into the room, huffing and puffing. “He’s gone.”
Crew fills him in and Jagger relays what I said about him choking me, which leaves them both pleased with Neo’s exit and a hope he doesn't return. Am I the only one that sees how wrong this all is? These guys are all best friends.
An idea surfaces, and I think I know exactly where to find him.
I shoot to my feet, interrupting whatever conversation they’re having. “We should get ready for class.”
When I get lightheaded again, they both take notice and each holds me up—one on each side. “I’m fine,” I tell them.
“You’re not fine,” Jagger says. “Whatever you took last night is still working its way out of your system. You need to stay home today. I’ll stay with you.”
“I agree,” Crew cuts in. “But you should go to your classes, Jagger. I’ll stay with her.”
They begin to bicker, so I throw my hands up and shout. “Stop!”
I can’t take any more of this. First Crew and Neo, then Jagger and Neo, and now Jagger and Crew. They’re all fighting, and it’s all my fault. “I’m going to school and that’s the end of it.” I push past them and go to my bathroom, not giving them a chance to argue with me.
* * *
My heart has been hurtingall morning.
Feelings are getting stronger and with them comes choices that I’m not ready to make.
Crew is the one I always swore wasthe one.Jagger stole my first kiss and in that moment, he stole a piece of my heart, too. The last thing I want is for Crew and Jagger to lose people because of me. Whether it’s their families or their friends.
Everyone hates Neo. In fact, I’m positive Neo hates himself, and he wants us to all hate him, too. Which is good because I’m pretty sure I do. Hate is a strong word, but I’ve never felt so much rage toward another human being.
My conscience won’t allow me to just sweep this all under the rug. I have to try and fix things with these guys. Putting all my anger aside, I think I can. Which is exactly why I’m sneaking out the door of the cafeteria while Crew and Jagger are at our table having lunch.
I managed to snag Jagger’s keys from his pocket when I gave him a hug before going to my creative writing class. It felt sneaky, but it was necessary, so the guilt is minimal.
I’d give it about ten minutes before they frantically begin searching for me, so I have to go now. On a good note, they have to find me on foot because Crew’s sled still isn’t fixed.
I run around the building, snow seeping under the leg of my jeans and dropping into my boots. Once my eyes are on Jagger’s sled, I bolt to it.
I’ve watched the guys drive their sleds many times so it shouldn’t be too hard.
Without a second thought, I jump on, start the engine, and hold down the throttle. I take off faster than I expected, causing me to fly back on the seat, but a couple seconds later, I’ve got it under control and I’m moving at a leisurely pace. I’m in no position to try and show off, so I take things nice and slow and head back to the house.
My plan is to follow the tracks leaving the house this morning in hopes that they’ll lead me right to Neo.
Fortunately, they’re fresh and clear and easy to follow.
By the time I start on his trail, I know Crew and Jagger have probably started questioning where I’m at. They’ll probably ask Riley, and maybe even Elias. But no one will be able to give them the answer they want.
I take a left and my hands become clammy, even in the fifty-degree temperature. My shoulders tighten and unease pools in my stomach. It’s that unearthly feeling that someone is watching me. I’ve felt it time and time again and my intuition is always on target.
Picking up my speed, I try to get to Neo faster. A right on his tracks has me guessing where I’m going because, from here, it’s a straight shot to The Ruins. Neo must have gone there to clear his head.