I slammed both hands against the closed elevator doors. “DAMMIT!” I roared.
Then, I turned and stalked back toward the open penthouse door.
I didn’t stop to look at Maegan, who was standing there, waiting.
“You’re fired. Get your shit and go. You’ll be hearing from my lawyer. You broke the contract,” I said and continued heading to my bedroom.
“Dean! I didn’t know,” she called out after me.
“Fuck that! You knew exactly what you were doing. You have twenty minutes, and then I’m calling the police. Leave.” I slammed the door behind me.
My next building manager was going to be a man. A straight man.
twelve
brielle
The rest of the week was uneventful. I went to work, I came home, I made myself an easy dinner and started reading the pile of books beside my bed. I’d once again canceled my date with Gavin, but after what I’d done with Dean, there was no way that I could go on a date and even have a conversation.
That girl, the one I had turned into up in his penthouse, was not someone I wanted to be again.
He’d thought I had run because his building manager had shown up and said what she did. But that wasn’t it exactly. I knew that was the kind of lifestyle Dean had. He’d probably had orgies with the band and groupies. A threesome would be wholesome compared to the things he’d done. I wasn’t a naive kid. I knew better … yet in that moment, it hadn’t mattered. Dean Finlay made me stupid.
Maegan’s voice had snapped me out of whatever spell I’d been under. I had just let Dean take my bottoms off and … lick me down there. In his hallway, against a wall.
Who was I? When had I started acting like that? I wasn’t some wild-ass groupie. I had a kid. I was a mom.
Dean expected those things from women. He expected exactly what I had turned into. But I wasn’t that girl, and since he hadn’t tried to talk to me again after the day I fled his penthouse, then I figured he must have come to that conclusion too. I wasn’t his type after all. Something we had both known but ignored. My actions had been so unlike me that I couldn’t even tell Clara about what we’d done. What I’d let him do.
Luckily, Clara had a date tonight, and I wouldn’t be pressed to go out with her. It was Friday night, and I was craving a night in with ice cream, Chinese food, and pointless television. The food order had been placed, so I sat down with a pint of chocolate fudge ice cream and began flipping through the stations on my television.
I missed Cam. He’d told me yesterday that he wouldn’t be able to call again until Sunday. They were prepping for a battle of the bands at camp. I also felt like he needed me to give him more independence. Having to call your mother daily had to be getting old.
I stuck another bite of ice cream in my mouth just as I reached the entertainment channel. I paused. I knew that back. I leaned against the overstuffed cushions of my sofa, which still hadn’t been replaced with something more affordable, and watched.
Dean’s hand rested on the lower back of a tall, willowy blonde, wearing a dress that dreams were made of. The red carpet under their feet and the screaming fans on either side, being held back as they walked up to the large backdrop of the movie premiere they were attending, made Dean appear untouchable. I wondered if Dean ever wore a tux. Even now, he was dressed in black jeans that hung low on his hips, a black leather vest with nothing under it, a thin silver chain around his neck, and black boots.
I studied the blonde on his arm. She was older than me, the kind of stunning beauty you’d expect to see on Dean’s arm, and I was jealous. I shouldn’t be, but I was. I would never look like that on his arm. Of course, I’d never be on his arm.
The bottom of the screen said her name was Helena Noble, and of course she was a model. I stuck another large bite of ice cream in my mouth. I wanted to change the channel, but I needed to watch this. It was obviously something I had let myself forget. This was Dean’s life. His world. Not the apartment building I lived in.
The announcer talked about Dean being seen with this woman twice that week in Beverly Hills. So, he was back in California. I hadn’t known he had left. Was Maegan here? I didn’t want to ever see her again. I was humiliated enough that I’d been caught like that. She was the only witness to my moment of weakness. I’d prefer to never run into her again.
The blonde said something to him, and he laughed, then leaned down and pressed a kiss to her temple. There was a look in his eyes though. One that I’d never seen.
I put the ice cream down on the table and leaned forward to stare at him closely.
He was acting. That was fake. I’d seen Dean when he was laughing. Really laughing. This wasn’t it. The laugh didn’t truly meet his eyes. I didn’t look back at the woman. I kept my gaze locked on Dean until they were gone and the next couple appeared.
I pressed the power button on the remote and stared now at the black screen.
In two weeks, Cam would be home. We would have to start getting things ready for the new school year. My life would revolve around being a mom once again. It was what I knew. I was good at being a mom. I loved being Cam’s mom.
Dean would probably never speak to me again. Or maybe, after time, he’d forget that I had run out on him. If we did run into each other in the building, we could make small talk, then go on about our lives. The more at arm’s length I kept him, the better.
The whole idea, however, made me sad. I didn’t want to feel anything, but I did.
The doorbell rang, and I knew my food was here. I’d eat my feelings or eat while I was trying to make sense of my feelings. Grabbing my money, I opened the door, paid the delivery guy, and took my food. Locking back up, I headed for the kitchen to open my grocery-store bottle of wine to go with my kung pao chicken and side of dumplings.