“My father is not a kind gentleman, Lord Havisham. Whilst he does not refuse to acknowledge me, as someone obviously believes, he does have very little time for my company and would prefer it if I spent the remainder of my days elsewhere, away from his household, so that he might forget me almost entirely.” Drawing in a breath, she saw the questions burning in his eyes but continued to speak quickly in the hope that his questions would fade. “I have been more than grateful to your mother for her generosity towards me, plucking me from my position in his house, such as it was. I do not intend to cause her any difficulty here in London, however. If such things are being said of me, then –”
“Nothing is being said.” His warm hand settled over hers and Deborah’s breath hitched for the second time. “Forgive me for asking such a thing, Miss Fullerton. It is clear that I have upset you unnecessarily. The person who suggested such a thing is doing so for their own reasons, I believe.”
“And what would such reasons be?” Her heart was still pounding furiously, but the shock was slowly beginning to fade away. “I am nothing to society.”
“You are not insignificant.” Lord Havisham’s voice was gentle, his eyes warm. “I reprimanded Harrogate –” Stopping dead, he squeezed his eyes closed and scowled. “It is Lord Harrogate, needless to say. But I am certain that he shall not repeat such slander to anyone.”
Deborah swallowed three times before she could speak, feeling the tears begin to burn in the back of her eyes. The fact that her father had even beenmentionedhad been difficult enough, but now to know that someone else was speaking of him – and her- was making things very trying indeed.
“Thank you, Lord Havisham. I am sure that you have done your best.”
In that, at least, she had confidence. Lord Havisham had shown her a good deal more kindness these last few days and, from when he had come to the garden to apologize, Deborah had recognized a change in his demeanor towards her. She had absolute confidence that whatever it was Lord Havisham said or believed as regarded such rumors, he was telling her the truth. Those words would not be spread throughout London society as she feared.
“Are you quite all right?”
Something touched her cheek and Deborah’s eyes flew open, startled, just in time to see Lord Havisham dropping his hand and turning his head away from her. Had his fingers been at her cheek? A fire began to spread its flames up her neck and into her face. Whyever would he do such a thing?
“I – I am.” Hating that her voice was barely loud enough for even herself to hear, Deborah lowered her gaze. “I apologize for my reaction.”
“You need not.”
It took Deborah a moment to realize that she was still grasping his sleeve and that his other hand was back atop her own. The softness in his voice confused her, sending a billowing warmth followed by an icy wind through her. She shivered, and Lord Havisham’s eyes caught hers again, a small frown flickering across his brow. Was he just as confused as she at this strange interaction between them?
“There is much I could tell you about my father but, in truth, Lord Havisham, I do not wish to speak of him.” Her voice was a little steadier now, but her heart still beat furiously. “He is not a good man.”
“I am sorry to hear that.” After a moment, he lifted his hand away and she released his sleeve, dragging her hand back to her lap and trying to make sense of the myriad of feelings that had now taken her captive. “I have no wish to become such a person, Miss Fullerton. I do hope that now, you are a little more assured of that.”
A small smile crinkled her lips.
“If you are asking me whether or not my view of your character is a little improved, Lord Havisham, then I will answer you in the affirmative.”
Lord Havisham chuckled and instantly, the strain which had been present broke apart.
“I am very glad to hear it. That has brought me a great deal of relief, I assure you.”
She smiled back at him, the tension in her limbs beginning to fade away.
“I am happy here. Your mother is most kind.”
“Yes.” His sigh dropped his shoulders. “I believe that my mother has always had good intentions. It is a pity that I did not always see that.”
“But I am certain she is glad to be in your company now.” There seemed to be a need to reassure him, seemed to be an urge to encourage him somewhat, and Deborah spoke with as much conviction as she could muster. “It is good for her to be with you, Lord Havisham. I know that she has missed you these last few years.”
A wry smile twisted his lips.
“Would that I could say the same, Miss Fullerton.”
“Might I ask…”
She trailed off, realizing from the moment that she spoke that it was not her place to ask such questions, but Lord Havisham merely nodded.
“Please. Continue.”
Deborah hesitated, but the small, warm smile on Lord Havisham’s face encouraged her.
“It is not my place to know such things, but I presume that there was a reason for your separating yourself from Lady Havisham?”
Lord Havisham’s smile disappeared.