“Youdoknow that thetonis aware of your father’s situation?” she asked, tilting her head and regarding Honora with a small, slightly condescending smile. “A gentleman would not even think of accepting you, my dear. But I am sure that you will enjoy London, nonetheless. And, of course, if it is required, I will be glad to keep you on as companion – or find you another position.”
Honora knew that her aunt expected her to thank her for her condescension and kindness but found that she could not. Her lips were pressed too hard together and she could feel herself shaking gently. She dropped her gaze so that her aunt would not see the anger and the upset in her eyes.
“Well, this evening’s ball shall be the very first we attend together!” her aunt declared. “You will remain by my side at all times, converse when you are spoken to - although I shall make your position clear, so that no gentleman becomes confused!” Again came her trilled laugh and Honora squeezed her hands tightly together, forcing herself not to allow a sharp retort to fall from her lips. “I have purchased you three new gowns – they are respectable but nothing too fashionable. Make certain that you are presentable.”
“I shall, aunt,” Honora managed to say, now silently praying that her aunt would take her leave and allow Honora a few moments of quiet so that she might separate, consider, and work through each overwhelming emotion. “Of course.”
Lady Langdon flashed a bright smile in Honora’s direction, as though she had done her some great favor, before rising from her chair, saying one or two more things about the expectations she had for the evening, and finally leaving the room.
Just as Honora burst into tears.
* * *
“Now, here we are.”
Honora took in a deep breath and, walking behind her aunt, made her way towards the grand townhouse. She had been greatly upset earlier that afternoon but had forced herself to find a few positive considerations in her new situation. Her aunt was not being deliberately cruel but rather, instead, appeared to think that she was doing Honora a great kindness in offering her this situation. Nor was she purposefully trying to upset Honora in stating the truth about her father’s situation. She was doing so simply because it was the truth and she clearly thought that Honora needed to have an understanding of it.
Perhaps she is right,Honora thought as she climbed the stone steps.I would not have a single gentleman so much as look at me, should I be here to make my come out.
Taking a deep breath, Honora lifted her chin, tried to smile, and stepped inside.
The noise hit her like a wall, forcing her to catch her breath as she took a momentary pause just inside the house. She was not even in the ballroom yet and the sound of conversation, music, and laughter was already overwhelming.
“It is quite something, is it not?” Her aunt turned towards her, a broad smile on her face and a brightness in her eyes that told Honora she very much enjoyed the noise. “Do not worry, Nora. Everyone finds the ballroom to be somewhat intimidating when they first step inside!”
Honora managed a faint smile, appreciating this encouragement but still finding herself quite overcome with nerves. It took all of her inner strength to keep her composure as she finally approached their hosts and the receiving line, staying behind her aunt and praying that her curtsey would be quite perfect when the time came.
“Doexcuse me.”
Much to Honora’s shock, a figure suddenly pushed past both herself and her aunt and then attempted to move forward at speed so that he could make his way to the receiving line first. It was astonishingly rude and even her aunt let out an exclamation which, at least, the gentleman in question turned in response to.
“Excuse me,sir,” her aunt said, her voice high pitched and her frame suddenly very stiff indeed, “but what is the meaning of this?”
The gentleman turned to face Lady Langdon fully, his hands spreading out to either side, as though he could not understand the question.
“I beg your pardon?”
“You have pushed me aside in some sort of attempt to garner entry to the ballroom a little more quickly, I presume,” Lady Langdon stated, sounding a little angrier now, which, Honora thought, came solely from the gentleman’s seeming inability to understand his wrong – although inwardly, she winced at the fact that her aunt had failed to mention that he had also physically moved Honora aside! Was he really so arrogant as to make his way past them without even being aware of the cost of his behavior? Did he think that his handsome appearance removed the need for good manners?
The gentleman clasped his hands together, then gave a short but stiff bow.
“I meant no harm,” he said, his eyes fixed upon her aunt and giving Honora not even a single glance. “My sole intention was to make my way to Lord and Lady Yarmouth so that I might make my greeting.”
Honora frowned, folding her arms and studying the gentleman steadily as dislike slowly began to creep up within her. Whoever this fellow was, she did not think that she believed a single word he had said thus far. Hehadto have been aware that his manner in pushing past them was both uncouth and disgraceful but had done so regardless. Why would he do such a thing? Did he truly think that he was more important than the rest of them? That Lord and Lady Yarmouth would be all the better pleased to greethimrather than Honora and her aunt?
Her eyes fixed themselves to the gentleman’s rather smug expression. He had a long, elegant nose and slightly narrowed eyes – although whether they were held so because of the current situation, Honora did not know. His dark brown hair was combed neatly so that most of it fell to one side and his clothing was quite impeccable. Were it not for how he had behaved, Honora was sure that she would have thought him amiable as well as handsome, but now her consideration of him was already soured.
You are a companion,she reminded herself sternly, her hands suddenly falling to her sides.You cannot speak openly to him even though you might wish it.
That, Honora knew, was one of her failings. Her father had often brought it up during their years together, for Honora was inclined to speak her mind and to do so without hesitation. It had taken great inner strength not to send various retorts towards her aunt over the last few days and now, Honora called upon that strength again.
“And what is it that you thinkweare doing?” her aunt asked, as the gentleman’s eyes suddenly caught Honora’s, making her flush and turn her head away. “We too are seeking to make our way to Lord and Lady Yarmouth. Surely that was clear from the very beginning!”
The gentleman sighed heavily and dropped his head for a moment, sounding exasperated – and Honora could not help but speak.
“It is not at all gentlemanly to push oneself to the fore,” she said sharply, not holding back her frustration and having no hesitation in dealing him a setdown. “And to jostle not only myself but my aunt in such a way is–”
“You clearly do not know who I am.”