“I must,” he said, taking a step closer to her as she opened her eyes to look at him. “I told Lady Charlotte that I was to do so and –” A single tear ran down Miss Gregory’s cheek as she looked up at him, although she dashed it away with such force that it was as if she were embarrassed to be seen demonstrating any emotion. “Miss Gregory, I am sorry.”
Robert could say nothing more, his shoulders dropping, his head hanging low and shame filling him completely. For the first time, he saw himself as he truly was: a gentleman who thought of nothing but his situation and his own determination to remain in good standing in society. He had allowed his need to be reacquainted with the Duke of Strathaven to become most important, fearful that he would drop somewhat in the eyes of theton, that they would then dredge up his past and use it to shame him. He had let it overshadow everything and everyone else.
“Miss Gregory.” Broken, Robert looked up into her eyes and saw her standing very still, looking back at him with such a heaviness in her expression that he wanted to cry out in anger at the pain he had caused her. “There is nothing I can say which would further express my own sorrow and, regardless, I do not think that it would bring you any relief. I can see now, Miss Gregory, just how small a man I am.” For the first time, he spoke without a single modicum of hesitation, wanting to express the truth to her, wanting her to know what she had brought out in him. “I have been concerned with myself and my own circumstances and have not given even a single thought to anyone else. You, for example, have found yourself in such a difficult circumstance that I do not know how you have borne it! And yet I was oblivious to your trouble, reminding myself that you were only a companion when, in truth, I ought to have seen you as the lady you are, ought to have thought about just how painful you must be finding your situation, from the very beginning. And then, when I promised to help you, when I gave you my word, for me only to pull away from you, to allow myself to be distracted by my own selfishness yet again… I cannot imagine how you must be feeling at this present moment, Miss Gregory. You have every right to despise me, to turn from me, and I shall not blame you if you choose to do so. However, I will tell you truthfully that I will forever be grateful for you and our connection. Your frankness and outspokenness have forced me to look at myself in a way which I strongly dislike!” He smiled sadly, aware of the gentle glistening in Miss Gregory’s eyes, and finding the sorrow still rising within his own heart. “It has taken me some time, but I see now that every word you spoke to me was true. I will be a better fellow from this day forward, Miss Gregory, and it will be because of you.”
Silence grew between them for some moments after Robert had stopped speaking. Miss Gregory held his gaze with unblinking emerald eyes, studying him, watching him, considering what he had said. No further tears had fallen but Robert knew that they were not too far away, feeling guilt squeeze his heart once more thathewas the cause of it.
“I do hope, Miss Gregory, that you will step aside?”
The harsh voice of Lady Charlotte suddenly broke in, between them, and the lady came forward without hesitation, standing next to Robert and fixing a hard gaze on Miss Gregory.
“I – I beg your pardon?” Miss Gregory asked, looking at Lady Charlotte in bewilderment – the very same bewilderment which Robert himself felt.
“Lord Crampton said he could not dance the waltz with me since he was to stand up withyou,” Lady Charlotte sniffed, her gaze going up and down Miss Gregory’s form as though she were assessing her. “But I do hope that he has explained the situation to you and that you will step aside?”
Robert dropped his shoulders and closed his eyes. After what he had done to Miss Gregory, he knew that she owed him nothing and would, most likely, agree that Lady Charlotte could dance with him for the waltz. He deserved no favors from her.
“I – I think not.”
Miss Gregory’s response hit him hard, making Robert catch his breath as he lifted his head, seeing her standing tall, her chin lifted, irresolute.
“I beg your pardon?”
Now it was Lady Charlotte’s turn to sound confused and Robert, seeing the determination in Miss Gregory’s face, took a small side-step towards her.
“I have not explained the circumstances to Miss Gregory, Lady Charlotte,” he said so that Miss Gregory would not have to make an explanation. “I still intend to dance the waltz with her, as I had hoped.”
Lady Charlotte’s face went puce. Her eyes narrowed and she glared at Miss Gregory as though it were her fault that such a thing had happened. Not a word was spoken until, finally, she turned away and departed their company without further remark. Robert took another small step closer to Miss Gregory, glancing down at her and smiling softly when her gaze reached his.
“Thank you, Miss Gregory,” he murmured, as she finally returned his smile. “It is a favor I do not deserve from you.”
Her eyes flickered for a moment.
“Your words were honest and true,” she said, softly. “I believe that you meant every word, and now, to choose me over the Duke’s daughter…” Her smile grew and she lifted one shoulder in a half shrug. “I am honored.”
“The honor is mine, in being able to stand up with you, Miss Gregory,” he told her, humbly. “I look forward to dancing the waltz with you.”
A gentle sparkle came into her eyes.
“As do I, with you,” she murmured, as a happiness which Robert had never known before rose up within his heart and embraced him completely – and all because of the astonishing Miss Gregory.
Chapter Twelve
“And so the wager is won.”
Honora smiled at her aunt, seeing the grimace on her face, and realizing that she had truly believed that Honora would never succeed.
“It is, aunt,” she replied, as calmly as she could. “I am no longer to be considered your companion but as a young lady in my own right, here for the Season and giving all of my efforts to finding a husband.”
This last remark brought a scornful exclamation to her aunt’s lips, but Honora did not allow it to influence her or pull away at her happiness. Last evening had been a trial but somehow, she had found a happiness through it which seemed to pervade every last fiber of her being. The way Lord Crampton had spoken to her, the fervor with which he had apologized, had burned into her heart and left her in no doubt that he had meant every word. And then, for him to have made certain thatshewas the one he waltzed with, rather than standing up with the daughter of a Duke, had told her just how much he esteemed her, just how much he valued her – and her sorrow and upset had begun to dissipate. Waltzing with him had been a dream, and Honora had every moment of it fixed in her memory. And the feelings which had filled her as she had stood up with him had not left her since.
“You will not find a husband,” her aunt replied – again, not attempting to be unfeeling but intending to express the truth to Honora so that she would not feel such an uncertain hope. “You may enjoy these few weeks left of the Season but nothing more will come of it.”
“I can but try, aunt,” Honora replied, not allowing her aunt’s words to break down her happiness. “You have been most obliging.”
Her aunt snorted and muttered something under her breath – which was, no doubt, a remark about how she had never expected Honora to succeed – but Honora ignored this, rising from her chair, and making her way to the door.
“I will write to father so that he is informed,” she said, swiftly. “Do excuse me.”