The good Lord would have to get her through this wedding and the dinner without resorting to violence. Even if she punched Hudson he was so strong-looking it probably wouldn’t hurt him. She focused on not looking at him. It took all her self control. If she could only get through the ceremony and the dinner she could slip away before the dancing started. Mo would need to get into bed. He’d prefer to stay and become the center of attention like his dad used to be. Hudson and Mo both had dance moves the likes of which she could never copy. Hudson could take the entertainer role tonight like he’d done at every dance and party they’d ever been to together. She used to love watching him and of course he’d always made her part of the show and made her shine. She didn’t want to be around to see him shine, probably with some other woman. Ugh!
The one guarantee she definitely had was Hudson would disappear by morning. Then she and Mo could go back to their settled, happy life.
There were only a few things she could count on with Hudson Delta. He was an expert at extreme stunts and he could easily charm every woman he set his blue eyes on. But he was even more reliable at disappearing quick, and never looking back to see what he was missing.
Chapter Two
Hudson was sweating in the monkey suit Thor had forced him to wear for his wedding. He didn’t blame Thor. If the woman Hudson had loved his entire life, like Thor had loved Shelly, agreed to marry him, he’d jump over any obstacle and force his brothers to strut in front of the wedding party in Speedos if that’s what his bride wanted.
He discreetly dabbed at his forehead. Even though it was August it wasn’t hot outside. The temperature was at least twenty degrees cooler than his last filming location in the Dominican Republic and there was practically zero humidity in Colorado. The reason he was sweating was the gorgeous, out-of-reach, love ofhislife was sitting less than twenty feet away.
Kelsey looked more beautiful than even his visions of her. She was wearing an off-white fitted dress that set off her tanned skin and her beautiful shape. Her facial features were a little more defined and her curves a little more generous than the last time he’d seen her. Almost four years ago to be exact. Motherhood looked incredible on her. If only it wasn’t the reason they were apart.
He snuck another look and his stomach did a happy flip flop. Meeting Kelsey’s gaze was more exciting than swooping through a twisted and dangerous mountain forest in a wingsuit. It seemed like every time he glanced her way she was staring at him. He kept lying to himself and thinking the looks were full of longing, remembrance, and love.
Then her little boy would squirm around and luckily that would break Hudson’s concentration on her and throw him back to the stark reality that Kelsey didn’t love him, had gotten pregnant with another man’s baby, and Hudson had no right to be staring longingly at her. Where was Jason? Hudson gritted his teeth just thinking about his backstabbing friend. He assumed they’d be happily married with another baby by now. He didn’t ask for news from home and luckily his family didn’t spew that information to him when they chatted. But was she married? Had she not ended up with Jason?
Jason Spackman had been one of Hudson’s close friends in high school. He’d always teased and flirted with Kelsey. Hudson had tried to be chill about it. After all, Kelsey loved Hudson desperately. Or so he thought.
He focused on Thor and Shelly. They were both beaming and the perfect cowboy couple. Shelly even had cowboy boots on with her wedding dress. Hudson was ecstatic for them. He missed his family with an ache that was almost as bad as how much he missed Kelsey. None of them knew or understood why he rarely came home and when he did he only stayed for a short time and never went anywhere near church or town or where he might run into Jason or … her. Just his luck Kelsey was Shelly’s Granny’s in-home nurse and had been invited to the wedding. He glanced around at the huge crowd, realizing it wouldn’t have mattered if there was any connection. The entire population of Summit Valley, and he was guessing some surrounding areas as well, had been invited.
He tugged at his sleeves and tried to focus. He didn’t want to miss out on any of his short-lived family time. It wasn’t right to letherdistract him and not enjoy the few hours he’d be here. His mom would happily spend that time hugging him. He let her, knowing how much she missed him and how she probably stayed up at nights wondering why he’d distanced himself from all of them and worrying he was going to kill himself with one of his stunts. He tried to keep in touch but his career was insane, he traveled nonstop, and he took a different pretty girl out every night he could, just hoping to find somebody to distract him from Kelsey. His Sunshine. Who wasn’t his at all. Not any more.
He’d loved Kelsey for as long as he could remember noticing there was a difference between boys and girls. It had been torture to go their separate ways after they graduated, but it had been a mutual decision. He’d been young, impulsive, and driven enough to think his dream of being an extreme sports sensation was the most important goal of the moment. He reasoned that once he was successful and Kelsey was through school, destined to be the smartest and most caring nurse ever, they’d get married and travel together. She could bandage up all his wounds and provide health care to locals in the different impoverished areas he visited. It would be ideal.
If only he hadn’t lost all control that one night he’d come home to visit over four years ago. It had been too long since he’d held her, touched her, and kissed her. Every touch had always felt like heaven with Kelsey. He’d sped past boundaries they’d set for themselves. As a God-fearing Christian who believed in moral cleanliness he never should’ve let himself ignore those hard and fast rules.
It was conflicting to regret the most beautiful moments of his life, but he blamed himself for taking Kelsey’s innocence from her and not waiting for marriage like he’d vowed to himself, God, his parents, and most importantly, her.
He glanced at his mom. The classy, beautiful, tough sweetheart who thought he’d hung the moon. He squirmed thinking that he’d never told his parents about his lack of control. Rather than face the music he’d taken off, begged Kelsey’s forgiveness through text, and told her he’d come back when he gained perfect self control. He’d prayed and studied the good word and talked to pastors, preachers, teachers, and holy men everywhere he went. He was an expert at meditation and had improved the fighting skills taught to him from youth on up with tai chi, kickboxing, capoeira, and judo which all focused on mind and body being in control.
He remembered feeling confident and ready to see Kelsey again. He believed he could be moral and respectful of her and he started organizing his schedule to go surprise her at school. Then he saw that fateful text.I’m pregnant. I need you to come as soon as you can fit it in your busy schedule.
It was a punch in the gut and the most excited he’d ever been. He’d been out of cell service for days when the text originally came, deep in the jungle filming some Tarzan-type stunts. He’d left his phone with some friends so he didn’t lose it in the jungle. As soon as he picked it up and saw that he’d missed a few calls from her, and then read that world-stopping text, he jumped on a shuttle plane to the closest international airport and traveled to Colorado as fast as he could.
He was going to be a father. It was so surreal, so exciting. It was going to turn his world upside down and he was stoked about it. He wanted to call or text her, but that felt hollow and anti-climactic. He had to see her in person, swing her around in ecstatic happiness, tell her how he loved her and their future child, and then start making plans for their wedding. Everything would work out with their careers and their future plans. Somehow. With all his mind-body studying he should’ve been more worried about the details, but his impetuousness took over and he let his excitement grow.
Throughout the long hours of travel, weird doubts occasionally popped into his frenzied brain as he studied her text.I’m pregnant. Why hadn’t she said … with our baby? He’d shove those thoughts away and think how insane it was of him to doubt his angelic beauty. The only Sunshine he would ever need or want. Though they were apart they didn’t date other people. She trusted him no matter what women posted on social media and he trusted her no matter how he knew men would chase her because of her sweet, fun personality and gorgeous face and body. No way would she hook up with some guy. Not possible.
Yet what if after they’d had been intimate and he’d left to get his head on straight she’d turned to other men? He hadn’t let himself talk to her as penance, and to make sure he was worthy of her. What if the separation had been too hard on her? What if she’d found solace in another mans’ arms in his absence? What if … All the sneaky thoughts accumulated, pushed out the excitement, and pounded through his head until he was ready to explode from all the stressing and the unknown questions. If any of his worries were a reality, it would be on him for not just picking up the phone when he got her texts or phone calls, or reaching out to her any time the past few months. He should’ve at least filled her apartment with flowers, candy, and presents every week of the induced separation so she knew how much he still adored her.
He got to her off-campus apartment in Boulder a little before ten p.m. There was a balcony and her apartment was on the second story. As he jogged through the parking lot he saw a couple out front of her apartment door, embracing. He paused, not wanting to run up the steps and embarrass one of her roommates and the woman’s date or boyfriend.
The woman was clinging to the man, her head buried in his chest. It looked like she was crying. Ah, that was too bad. He wasn’t trying to openly stare but he was impatient for them to move so he could get into that apartment and hold his love. As he kept looking back at them, he saw the guy’s face under the porch light. Jason Spackman. His old high school buddy. He knew Jason was at school at the University of Colorado Boulder like Kelsey, but didn’t know if they’d stayed in touch. Was Jason dating one of Kelsey’s roommates?
As he waited, the woman raised her head for the first time. Hudson could only stare at her beautiful, tear-stained face. Kelsey. Sunshine. Jason was holding his Kelsey? Despite the months of mind-body mastery Hudson was still impulsive and often acted before he thought, but at that moment he felt frozen. He wanted to storm up those steps, hit Jason, rip Kelsey from his arms, and hold her close for a long, long time. He should be the one comforting his girl. Helping her through the tears and anything life threw her way.
But maybe not … his mind pinged different directions and that text was at the forefront.I’m pregnant. Why wouldn’t she have saidwith our child? What if Jason had stepped in while Hudson was gone and Jason was the father?
Hudson had to turn away so he didn’t pulverize the father of his girlfriend’s baby. How twisted was that? How could Kelsey do this to him? Yet he could easily pin this on himself. He was the one who’d been off traveling the world. He was the one who’d stolen Kelsey’s innocence in the first place. He was the one who’d turned inward to learn self mastery when maybe he should’ve forgotten self control and asked her to marry him that night.
Another horrific thought hit him. What if that night wasn’t Kelsey’s first time? It had been insanely perfect for him. Had she known how to … make it amazing? Oh, man. Hudson was so sick he hid behind some cars and spewed all over somebody’s tire.
He had no answers to the most disturbing questions of his life.
He straightened and wiped his mouth. He was sweating and tasting vomit and he was in a dark, cold place, shut off from his Sunshine and every hope and dream he’d had for the two of them.
Not the father. Not the father.