The pulse and life and laughter of the club grated on him, and he went upstairs. He stood in front of the fire, his hands deep inside his pocket, his body feeling empty as he stared into the fire. The door opened, and he did not turn around. His sister stopped beside him and gently bumped him on the shoulder.
“I shall miss you, Edmond,” she said, her voice thick with emotion. “Promise you shall write.”
“I will.”
“Do not meet a lady over there and marry her and then send us any silly message that you will make New York your new home.”
Edmond chuckled. “That will not happen, Vi.”
“Because you are already in love with Ester Fairbanks?” she asked slyly.
He snapped his gaze to her.
“You were very discreet the few nights she came here. And her identity was well protected.” Vi lifted her shoulder in a shrug. “But when you danced with her…you were just different, so I asked Ollie who she was, and he told me.”
Edmond made no reply to that. “Be careful when I am gone. Ensure you rely on Ollie and Luc if you feel threatened.”
Vi narrowed her eyes. “Edmond, I—”
“Ester Fairbanks is not up for discussion.”
His sister huffed. “You are so infuriating! I was going to send you off with at least six spice rum cakes, and now I am rethinking the matter.”
He smiled, tugged her close and hugged her. “I will miss you too.”
The door opened, and Ollie and Luc entered, walking over to them.
“Let’s drink and play cards,” Ollie said, clapping him on the shoulders.
They went over to the large table near the windows overlooking the streets. Edmond laughed and chatted with his siblings long into the night, knowing he would miss them fiercely for the next couple of years. When he left them and retired to his chambers, it was to lay awake with waking dreams of Ester Fairbanks haunting his thoughts.
Two days later,Edmond boarded theMary Annfrom the docks at Liverpool Harbor to New York. He’d paid for a private cabin, and the captain had informed them the journey would take between twenty-five to thirty days depending on the wind pressure and sea temperature. The sense of anticipation he’d normally felt at starting a new business venture eluded him; instead, there was a damn heaviness against his chest that he could not rid of. He should be tired because he’d not slept more than an hour since he kissed Ester farewell, but his skin felt tight, his heart ached, and restless energy was upon his soul.
Edmond felt no peace. He only did when a pair of twinkling dark blue eyes swam in his vision.
Should I wait on you, Edmond?
Yes, his body, heart, and soul had cried, but his foolish mouth had said no. He stood on the deck, watching the churning waters as their vessel pulled farther and farther away from the docks. Hell, what was this agony wrenching through his chest? It shocked Edmond that he felt almost sick as if he would hurl the few bites he had taken this morning before the final leg of the carriage ride from his overnight inn to Liverpool.
I truly cannot endure it to leave her.
The thought slammed into his heart with the force of an anvil, and he stumbled and gripped the edge of the deck railing. Instead of ruthlessly suppressing the feelings that always clawed at him when he was with Ester, Edmond allowed them to wash over his senses—the joy of being with her, the visceral yet tender lust, the peace and comfort of having her near. His mouth dried when he realized that he was disgustingly incomplete without Ester by his side. “By God, I love her,” he said raggedly.
Why had he not asked her to come with him? Hell, even if she did not wish to travel, he would stay. Opening up ten more successful gambling establishments was not worth being with Ester.
“I am such a damn fool.” Edmond whirled around, scanning the deck he shared with the master captain, boatmen, and surgeon. He beckoned to one of the boatmen, and when the man ambled over, he said, “I need to get off this ship right away. I left something that was most important in London. How do I see the captain? I am willing to pay a fortune for us to return to the docks.”
The man looked at him as if he were afflicted, then he glanced at the dock that was some distance away.
“The only thing for ye to do is return if we stop at any port or once in New York.”
Edmond stiffened. “That will take weeks, my good man.”
“Aye. Ye can only hope ye important thing will still be waiting.”
The man walked away, whistling while Edmond tilted his head and pinched his nose.Bloody hell. What the hell should be my next move?
* * *