Chapter 10
Dear Lady Katherine,
You have been a friend to me since I woke to find myself without memories. I thank you for that consideration. This conversation would have been better to have in person, but as I am forced to remain in Cornwall for several days, I decided that I must correspond with you over this important matter in a letter.
I have become aware that my mother, in her desire to see me suitably wed, took advantage of the lapse in my memory and intimated that you and I had some sort of understanding before I marched to war. I am repudiating this imaginary engagement and demand an explanation for why you agreed to be part of such a fraudulent scheme. I am very disappointed that my family behaved in this dishonorable manner and that you were persuaded to be involved in this sham. I ask you to release me from whatever obligations I might be presumed to have promised under this mistaken belief, and I will call upon your father when I return to town to explain my withdrawal from this arrangement.
I am hopeful that a scandal might be avoided, given that a formal announcement has never been made and as no notice of an engagement has been posted in the newspapers. As we were rarely seen about town together, and on the infrequent occasions when we were, it was in the presence of my sister, I am convinced your reputation will not suffer from the breaking of this imaginary engagement.
Simon, Viscount Havisham.
After sealing the letter and setting it aside for it to be delivered immediately, Simon leaned back in his large armchair, staring in the crackling fire. A sense of rightness settled about his shoulders. At first, he had been tempted to hightail it to town to deal with his mother’s deception and Lady Katherine’s part in the whole mess. He understood what drove his mother; but, at this moment, he could not forgive her for taking advantage of his wounds. He had trusted her and believed in her words unreservedly. Now he was left to wonder what else had she lied about.
Had she known that Fanny Fairbanks bore him a child? Had he told his family of his intentions, and because they did not approve of the match, they willfully deceived him?
It was all bloody likely.
He’d already met with his agent and had sent him to his solicitor in London to find out about the child and start making the necessary provisions in his will. Whenever Simon thought about it, there was a painful ache in the vicinity of his heart. He had a son or a daughter who now existed in the world as a bastard. They would have to overcome a stain on their reputation when the fault did not lie with the child.
Standing, he went over to the mantle and poured himself a drink. He downed the brandy in a long swallow, thinking that everything had been altered. Reaching inside his pocket, he retrieved the letter he had written to Fanny. This was the fourth or perhaps the fifth time Simon had read the contents.
The words felt foreign and unknown to him. He was never the kind of man to exhibit any degree of strong sentiment or emotion with any lady. Yet the earnestness with which he had written to her, the sincere expression of love, could not be mistaken.
Who was this man? And why could he not remember himself like this or her? Clearly, when Simon had met Fanny, she had altered something profound within him. She’d given him enough cause for him to feel a great depth of affection for her, enough where he wanted to marry her despite her family’s reputation and connections.
At this moment, Simon felt a desperate need to remember everything about her. What had made him fall in love with her so spectacularly? Though he could very well suspect it. She had a strength of character he admired, even as he thought her a hellion, a damn wild cat. Even now, his bottom lip throbbed. He was also remarkably attracted to her and desired her with an urgency that was driving him to madness.
Most importantly, he felt at ease in her presence. A deep comfort that felt peaceful. But he did not feel this love his letter mentioned.
A knock sounded, and he bid the butler entry.
“My lord,” the butler said, “dinner has been packed in a few hampers.”
“Was the lemon cake done and the roasted quail?”
“Yes, my lord. Cook also added a few of your favorite treats.”
“Good. I will be leaving shortly.”
The butler looked mildly surprised by this announcement but rendered his expression in a professional mask. Simon strolled from the study and called for his horse to be prepared. He had already been away from the cottage for several hours, and bemusedly he missed the little hellion.
More than he would care to admit.
Fanny had collectedherself by the time Simon returned to the cottage on horseback. The sun had lowered from the sky, and hues of lavender and gray painted the sky as the night descended. He entered the tiny space, a delicious aroma wafting from the large hamper he carried. It had been several hours since they last ate. Clearly, he had groomed himself and had taken a bath, for he was dressed in tan trousers with a blue waistcoat and matching tan jacket. His gaze skipped over her, possibly noting that she, too, had tidied. Fanny had not been able to do anything about her hair, and it hung in a tangled mess to her hips.
“I brought our supper,” he said.
“Thank you,” she replied.
How polite they sounded with each other. Simon did not seem out of sorts or shocked by what he had read in the letter. Still, more than five hours had passed since she stormed away. Possibly he had collected his composure and come to terms that he might be a father. “It smells wonderful,” Fanny murmured.
“It has roasted quail…and fish and thinly sliced ham and cranberry sauce.”
A loud rumble came from her belly, and she smiled sheepishly. Fanny made to uncurl from the chaise longue, and he held up a hand.
“I will lay out our fare.”
Oh!She slowly relaxed against the squabs and observed him unpacking the utensils and too much food for the small table. She disobeyed him and went over to assist, rearranging the scrumptious fare, so there was no disaster. Their fingers brushed, and the simple touch ignited her nerves and had warmth fluttering in her belly.