“Family love is different, and I am not sure there are any similarities.” The love he felt for his family was more than a bloody sensation. It was a deep-rooted duty to care and protect them as long as he had breath in his body. Do I feel like that for Charity?
“How can you say that?” Jenna asked, clearly exasperated.
“I do not want to kiss Aunt Bess or have my wicked way with mother. Hence, clearly, they are different.”
Jenna's eyes went so wide he thought she would collapse, then she dissolved into laughter. “I never knew you had it in you to be so improper.”
“Before you visited 48 Berkeley Square, you had a more considerate opinion of your brother.”
Jenna slapped a hand over her mouth. “Charity told you?”
“I knew it the second day you sneaked out of the house.”
She stared at him in wonderment before hurrying over and hugging him.
“Have I ever told you what an incredible brother you are?”
Warmth pierced through his body, and it was only then he realized how cold Charity’s departure had left him. “As are you, Jenna. However, I am still selecting your husband in a few weeks.”
She drew back to pinch his arms. “Ethan!”
He chuckled. “I am retiring to bed now. I have an early morning and a long day ahead of me.”
“With work?” she asked, falling into step beside him.
“No. I am heading back to town briefly, and I will be riding.”
His sister grinned. “I knew you should have chased her.”
“I am doing nothing of the sort. My horse’s pace will be very sedate,” he replied drolly.
They parted in the hallway, with each heading off to their own chamber. Ethan went into his room and dismissed his valet and undressed himself. Shortly after, he stood by the window overlooking his lawns, quite uncaring that he was stark naked. Resting a forearm on the cool pane of the glass, he swallowed a sigh. Lady Charity was a lady of quality and was quite intimate with ton life. It was imprudent for her not to not marry him after everything that had occurred between them. It was the only honorable recourse after her thorough debauching.
What if she fell with child?
The image of Charity swollen with his baby, walking across the lawn while she rubbed her stomach and sang or regaled their child with an adventurous story bloomed in his mind. She would be that kind of mother, one who spoke to her child as it grew inside her. One who might not find it necessary to hire a nursemaid. She might want to do all those duties herself, for Charity seemed a woman with a large heart and great capacity for kindness. Suddenly he wanted that future with her more than he wanted anything else in his life. Ethan wanted to be there on the grounds of the estate, holding her hand while she told their child some tale. He wanted to see her happy. He wanted to know her likes and dislikes. Her hopes and dreams and made them a part of his.
“Bloody hell,” he muttered.
What if in the space he had allowed to pass, some other gentleman who might offer flowery sentiments to her swept her off her feet, and he lost her forever? One particular gentleman with whom she had danced twice in a night. A deep coldness burrowed inside his heart, and even when he went to bed and woke hours later to face a new day, it had not dissipated.
Perhaps it was time to fight sneaky.