Chapter Eight
Perdie had changed into a simple high-waisted lime green gown. Her thick auburn hair hung in loose waves over her shoulders and her feet…she wore no shoes or stockings. Her toes were bare, and they curled now into the lush grass. She seemed different…free and unconcerned. She owned a slender, wild beauty, and it seemed to Thaddeus he was seeing her for the first time. A rebellious glint had entered her eyes, and her lips curved in a smile. It was almost daring. It was most definitely irresistible.
“A walk about the gardens,” he repeated slowly.
The wind whipped color into her cheeks, and they flushed a most becoming pink.
“I dare not invite you inside,” she said, her eyes gleaming with amusement. “Will you walk with me?”
He moved forward as if tethered to her. She set so quick a pace toward the garden that he feared he’d misread her. Maybe he was no more than an obligation from which she hoped to free herself, and the tour was an expedient means of doing so. However, once they reached the shrubberies, her steps slowed to a stately stroll. He laid his free hand over hers, relishing that point of contact. She did not pull away from him.
“So this estate belongs to your grandmother?”
She glanced at him and then away. “It did. Left to her by special remainder by the d—by her husband.” With a rueful little smile, she admitted, “I do wish that she’d left it by special remainder to me instead of it being absorbed back into the family estates upon her death.”
“It belongs to your brother then?”
She stiffened but nodded curtly. He didn’t want this to be their last memory together, of stilted conversation and dancing around the truths of their lives.
To lighten the mood, he teased, “That is an impressive cottage. I’d hate to see what you call a house.”
She laughed. “It’s what the family calls it.”
“Are you certain? Now, I grew up in a house not even half that size, and I’d hate to hear what you make of it.”
“I’m sure it’s lovely.”
She stopped, turning to face him fully with those grey-blue eyes turned up to his. She looked at him, beseeching as if willing him to believe her. “You speak so fondly of your sisters that I can’t believe the house is anything other than wonderful. It must be nice not to have to trek half a mile to reach the breakfast table or find company.”
“You sound as though you’re speaking from experience.”
She gave a smile that was equal parts of fond and sad. “Oh, I have to go a good deal farther than a mile to see my family. Sebastian spent as much time in London as he did at home until I came of age and I joined him in Town. Even Mama’s so busy with her charitable endeavors that we rarely have time to spend together. I always wished for a sibling closer to my age, but I never did get one.”
He couldn’t stand to see the sadness in her expression, so he said, “It isn’t as glamorous as you think, having siblings. Besides, you and Felicity seem as close as sisters to me.”
Perdie resumed walking, leading him along the pebbled path in between hedges as tall as he was. They came to a round clearing. Pink and yellow flowers adorned the center. A statue of a cherub overlooked a bench. She didn’t stop to sit. Instead, she led him along another fork in the path. Within minutes, he would be hopelessly lost, reliant upon her for direction. He didn’t mind in the least.
Especially when her tone lightened, and she warmed to the conversation. “Felicity is one of my dearest friends. I would give anything to see to her happiness, as she has to mine. She doesn’t hesitate to support me in my endeavors, unlike others.”
She didn’t mention who. Perhaps he shouldn’t prod, but he couldn’t help himself. “Some others…like your brother?”
The branches of the hedges rustled together in the wind, but Thaddeus and Perdie remained sheltered from the cold between them.
“My brother is….”
She didn’t finish that sentence. “My brother can be uncompromising in his beliefs, but I daresay he is always a wonderful man. When I think about it, he has indulged me shamelessly over the years. Whatever I want, he would provide it, but my demands were…for books, a specific horse. A necklace I read about that I had to possess. He procured it all the way from Vienna. But what I wished for…I wished we had long conversations that lasted for hours beside the fireplace. I wished we played chess and whist. I wished we went riding together across the lanes of our country home. I wished we could picnic together. I wish I dared to make him listen to me about the things that matter.”
Lightly he touched a loose tendril of hair on her cheek. “I might have only known you for a few days, Perdie, but I understand something about you. You possess courage in spades. Enough that you do not need to run.”
She jerked, her eyes widening. “I…”
“You do not need to run. You are stubborn, willful, impetuous, kind, and have this very pretty iron chin of determination. You do not need to run from those you love. You do not need to abandon your 48 Berkeley Square or your family.”
“I did not abandon it,” she said in a broken whisper. “The lady I came to love as my own sister kicked me out. I pleaded with her to let me stay, to let me understand, and she refused. She…I know it was my brother. He told her to ban me and she did. So easily when she knew how much it meant to me.”
He chucked her tenderly under her chin, very much in the manner he did with his sisters. Except the raw feelings going through him now for Perdie were nothing brotherly. He wanted to haul her into his embrace and kiss away the pain, worry, and guilt he saw in her eyes.
“One cannot change their slice of the world by running. I admire your sharp wit and independent nature. I suspect you know what to do,” Thaddeus said gently.