“Is that what you want? To break the engagement?”
Fresh tears sprang to Perdie’s eyes. “I do not know. He makes my heart beat so…and I swear I dream of him all the time! On our wedding day…of our family. But I also want to be like you!”
Theo jerked. “Like me?”
Wide eyes pinned her with fierce earnestness. “Yes. You are so incredibly beautiful and so free. When you laugh, you do so with your entire body, uncaring about what anyone thinks. You have this wonderful club that is the mostperfecthaven. I have never felt as true to myself as I am when I am under this roof. You attend the best balls, theatres; I’ve seen you ride astride in the park! You are clearly wealthy and a woman of style and fashion! And surely you cannot be a day over thirty.”
“I am only six and twenty,” Theo said drily. With a smile, she took Perdie’s hand between hers. “Perdie…I cannot tell you what to do if that is what you are hoping. It might seem that I am free, and I do suppose I am in many regards. But you seem to have something that I have never truly known.”
A skeptical frown split her brows. “I doubt that.”
“I have never known the love that you speak about. A gentleman has never inspired my heart to race or made me dream of him in the nights,” she replied candidly.
Perdie gasped. “Never?”
“Never.”
“But you are a widow.”
“My husband was a kind man, and there is love in kindness, but not the kind of love that you feel. I also have no…” Theo’s throat closed, and for a moment, a tight band hugged across her chest. The viscount had made no attempt to be intimate with her, informing her with little candor that his heavy drinking had a great influence on his manhood and passions. Theo had been relieved at the time until she had understood it meant a life without children or comfort or intimacy.
“I have no children, and I do not know if I ever shall. Perhaps one day, I might meet a gentleman who will understand my desire to own and operate a lady’s club and one who might not mind the threat that hangs over our reputation for me owning it.Perhaps. My dearest friend, Prue, suggested it might be easier to find such a fabled dragon. You must carefully think of the things you are willing to give up and decide if you can bear to stand that cost.”
A sob hitched in the girl’s throat. “I do feelterriblyconfused. My heart pains me, like a physical ailment when I think about not marrying Owen. But when I think about marrying and starting a family, it is as if someone had placed a pillow over my face and pressed down.”
Theo’s heart squeezed, and the memory of feeling a similar agony when circumstances had forced her to marry a man thrice her age. She had been so young and naïve, believing only a grand love would take her to the wedding altar. How desperate she had been for another solution or for a listening ear.
“First, you must speak to your mother and your brother. Let them know your feelings on this matter and see what support you have from them. Do not be hasty to end the attachment. Love matches are rare. But you also need time, and I do believe it is important that your young man understands and values your feelings.”
She flung herself into Theo’s arms and hugged her. “Thank you, Theo!”
With a laugh, she returned her hug. “I am here anytime you wish to speak.” And this moment reminded her why she had worked so hard to open this club, despite all the odds against its success. They drank a few cups of tea and chatted for almost an hour before Perdie departed. Her air of despondency had not vanished in its entirety, but there had been a marked improvement in her composure.
And that was all Theo could ask for at the moment.
A few hours later…
Theo liftedher head from the novel she’d been reading at the gentle clearing of a throat. The sheepish expression on her butler’s face implied he’d tried capturing her attention a few times. An air of anxiety hovered about him that was quite unusual, for her butler was a man of experience in dealing with the many tomfooleries he’d witnessed under this roof. “Yes, Dobbs?”
“His Grace, the Duke of Hartford demands an audience, my lady.”
Shocked seized Theo’s throat for several seconds. She lowered the glass of sherry to the small table with aclinkbefore putting away the book. “His Grace?”
“Yes, my lady.”
She felt almost bereft of good senses at this precise moment. “The Duke of Hartford?”
“Yes, my lady.”
Plucking the card from her butler’s outstretched hand, she stared at it.Good heavens. What was he doing here? Not one person outside of the exclusive lady society had ever called at this address. The duke’s presence even in the ballrooms cast a formidable shadow, so Theo understood her butler’s ruffled nature. She had never personally met the man, but Theo had certainly heard of him.
What do I know of him?
She’d never crossed his path at any of the social events she attended over the last couple of years. Some rumors adroitly mentioned his lack of interest in the season's amusements and the marriage mart, given his long-standing connection with a certain family. It was expected by everyone that the duke would eventually marry the Marquess of Bamforth’s daughter. Lady Edith, herself, walked about with the airs and arrogance of a future duchess.
I do not know enough to come out ahead in any meeting with this man.
“Did he ask for me by name?”