A great pressure swelled in Theo’s chest, shortening her breath. She could not bear the thought of never seeing him again, or that he would marry this woman…take her to his bed, love her passionately and have children with her. Theo stumbled slightly, and to her shock, the duke rushed forward, gently gripping her by the elbow to hold her steady.
“What is wrong?” he asked with urgency, his eyes caressing over her face. “Tell me!”
Theo glanced at where he held her and then pointedly at Lady Edith, who had rushed to his side. The lady viewed with disfavor the manner in which the duke held onto Theo.
Sebastian took a deep breath, lowered his hand, and said, “Allow me to call for the doctor.”
Theo looked quickly into his eyes, which were intently staring into hers. She wasted very little time in considering what his concern might mean. “I am quite fine, Your Grace.”
Still, he studied her, his face shadowed.
“It is but a slight headache from being caught in the rain a couple days ago. It is nothing to alarm a doctor about. I shall be quite fine.”
He stared at her as if he were trying to pierce through her soul, and she helplessly returned his stare. The memories of their time together leapt between them, and she almost sobbed at the emotions tearing through her.Stiffen your spine, she fiercely reminded herself. He had made no promises. She had asked for none. And he had been well and truly caught in a compromising position with a lady he’d always intended to marry. What was there for her to be sad about?
“I will deal with matters here and call upon you in London.”
Lady Edith gasped, her face mottling.
“I am not certain we have anything to speak about, Your Grace.”
A muscle tic flickered in his jaw, and she knew if not for the presence of Lady Edith, he would have hauled her to him and try to persuade Theo otherwise.
“If you will grant me a private meeting before you depart, Theodosia.”
She was so tempted. “No, Your Grace. Please let me go.”
A cold gleam entered his eyes, and she suppressed a shiver. It was the purview of men of great consequence and wealth to keep lovers with their wives. Not her. She hoped he saw that resolve in her eyes. Her skin felt too tight, and she was painfully aware of his closeness and the hawkish stare of Lady Edith. Dipping into a curtsy, she turned and made her way into the carriage with the aid of a footman. Theo did not peek through the carriage windows when it rumbled off. She did not want to see the duke with Lady Edith by his side, the picture of the perfect couple.
A lump grew inside her throat until it expanded to encompass her entire body. Something dripped onto her gloves, and with a gasp of shock, she realized tears coursed down her cheeks.
How silly I am being! Acting like a pea-goose, crying over the duke.
Theo leaned her head against the squabs and closed her eyes. “At least I dared…and I lived, and I loved…I fell for a duke,” she whispered in the confines of the carriage, conscious of Molly’s wide sympathetic stare on her.
It was as if with each sway and rock of the carriage, another memory of their time together was knocked loose from a place where she tried to bury it. Her heart squeezed with frightful want. She truly loved the blasted man, and it might take her a lifetime to recover from the pain of not having his love in return.
Theo sat up.How do I know he does not love me?
“Would it matter if he did?”Yes, her heart screamed. She had just left without giving him a chance to explain anything. God, when had she gotten so muddle-headed! Everything she had experienced with him was worth fighting for. And he was worth fighting for. So why was she running?
* * *
Sebastian escorted Lady Edith inside,quite aware of her pleased smile. There was a heaviness against his heart borne from the pain he witnessed in Theodosia’s eyes. What had she thought? That he would marry Lady Edith and then asked her to continue on as his lover?
It gutted him that she would think so little of his honor. It gutted him that she had refused to hear him out and had walked away.
There is no need to visit me in London.
Fucking hell!He pushed that nonsensical hurt aside. The only thing that mattered to him was that he could not lose her. How could he carry on and marry another, knowing that a part of him he hadn’t known existed was forever lost to Theodosia? There was no space to step back and reassess the situation. He was already surrounded by love and in love with her. Theodosia was important to him, and the people in his cottage needed to understand that. Even with Lady Edith looking on, he should have said the words which had burned themselves into his awareness last night.
Trust me a little, he’d silently pleaded, but she had turned and escaped into the carriage. Sebastian would punish her with pleasure for running before hearing what he had to say.
What if it is that she holds no affection for me?If that was the situation, he would soon learn its truth, and he had no bones about kidnapping her. He entered the drawing-room, and all the ladies present beamed at him.
“We need to make haste in settling the matter with the marquess,” the marchioness said without preamble. “When will you send the announcement, Your Grace?”
He extricated himself from Lady Edith and sent her a cool glance of censure when she hovered at his side. The lady flushed and made her way over to the sofa and sat down.