She sighed and held onto me. “I don’t know,” she said and then scoffed. “Is that awful of me to say?”
I turned her in my arms. “Not at all.” I swallowed hard.
She gave me a wary look. “You don’t want to be a parent?”
I didn’t let her pull away, though I could feel tension in her body now.I shouldn’t have said anything, I thought. But I couldn’t back down now. The only way out was through, as it were. “I spent my childhood in a dozen different foster homes,” I said. “My role models for parenthood weren’t exactly... great.”
Her eyes filled with understanding. “Ethan—”
“Don’t get me wrong,” I said. “I had some great foster parents, but just when I would get comfortable somewhere, it would be time to move. I joined the Navy because I wanted some kind of stability, and the military offered that. I probably would’ve gone all the way to retirement if it hadn’t been for Laura.” Saying her name sent an ache through my gut, but it wasn’t as sharp as it had been for years. Adrianne was to thank for that.
“All that’s to say,” I continued, “that while I hadn’t planned to be a father, it doesn’t mean that I won’t do everything in my power to make you and the baby happy.” I leaned down and kissed her, a brush of my mouth against hers. “I will do everything I can to not fuck this up.”
She cupped my cheek. “You’re going to be great,” she said. “This baby is going to know so much love.”
I wanted to know that for sure, but my stomach still felt like a heavy knot. “I have no doubts about you, Adrianne,” I said, and I didn’t doubt Foster or Callan either.
Adrianne gave me a sad smile and patted my cheek. “I don’t want you to doubt yourself either,” she said, “but I understand if you need time.”
“I’ve got time,” I said. “Nine months, right?”
She shrugged. “Give or take.” Pushing up on her toes, Adrianne kissed me again. “Come on, let’s get out of here before it gets too cold.”
I nodded, and we finished our shower. We turned off the shower, and I grabbed a towel from the bar to wrap around her shoulders. “Do you want me to get your robe?” I asked.
Adrianne shook her head. “I’ll get it. It’s not like Foster or Callan are going to be offended if I walk around naked, right?”
I snorted. “I’m pretty sure we would all prefer it if you walked around naked more often, Princess.”
She rolled her eyes and bumped me with her hip. “Hilarious,” she said.
“Are you hungry? We could have dinner brought up... or we could brave going out somewhere.”
Adrianne shook her head. “It’s been a long day,” she said. “I think I’d rather curl up in bed, to be honest.”
I winced. “You need to eat something, surely.” We walked out of the bathroom to the whistles of Callan and Foster. She grabbed her robe and slipped into it. She laughed when they booed in disappointment.
“You’re all incorrigible.” I picked up the room service menu and handed it to her, and she sighed. “You’re going to be a pain in the ass this whole pregnancy, aren’t you?”
“Did you think that we wouldn’t be?”
Adrianne sighed. “Fair enough.” She began to actively look at the menu in her hands. She settled on a burger and fries, and Foster called in the order.
“How much do we need to tell Lee?” Callan asked. “You’ve got stunt work coming up.”
The hell she is, I thought before pushing back the more caveman part of me. “Not Lee,” she said, “but I can talk to the stunt coordinator about it. Pregnant women do stunt work all the time. it’s just about figuring out how to be the safest that we can possibly be.”
“Won’t the stunt coordinator go running to Lee?”
Adrianne shook her head. “From what I’ve gathered, no one has any love for him on set. I don’t think she’ll say anything to him out of fear of dragging the project out because he’d have to go back to casting.”
“Or maybe Lee wouldn’t care at all,” Foster suggested.
She snorted. “He’ll care. Directors will say in an interview how happy they are to welcome actresses who are mothers, but half of them won’t go anywhere near me after it hits the papers. I can guarantee it.”
“Okay,” Callan said. “Let’s not be alarmist. We’ll talk to the stunt coordinator tomorrow, and we'll call your doctor in the States and get his advice.”
Adrianne nodded, and our plans were made.