Okay, she felt a little more than an alarm bell in her head and a nick that time. But she told herself that Louisa was lying. She had to be. Rob wouldn't do that to her. She opened her mouth to respond, but Rob moved into the foyer from the kitchen. He wore a white tank and blue swim trunks and carried a little girl in a pink bikini and flip-flops. The little girl had her arm around Rob's neck, and Kate recognized her from her pictures scattered around Rob's house. When he looked beyond Louisa and saw Kate, his footsteps slowed. "Kate."
"Happy birthday." She held out the Tiffany box, loving him so much that her nicked heart swelled beneath her rhinestone bra. She was going to remain optimistic or die trying.
"Thank you." He set his daughter on her feet, then took the box. "Come in."
Optimism was one thing. Sitting around with Rob and his bitchy ex while rhinestones rode Kate's crack was another. "No. I didn't know you had company. I should have called."
"That would have been nice," Louisa said.
Rob looked at his ex and frowned. "You don't have to call first. Stay for dinner. I'm just about to fire up the barbeque."
If he was planning to reconcile, would he invite her to dinner? asked her newfound optimism. "No, thanks." But optimism only went so far. It didn't mean she was suddenly blind. "Louisa was just telling me that the two of you are planning to get married again."
"That's not true," he said, and Kate felt the pain in her chest recede. A deep furrow appeared between Rob's brows, and he patted his daughter on the head. "Go get your baby. She's on the couch." When Amelia took off, he turned his attention to his former wife. "Let it go."
Louisa looked up at him. Even her profile was perfect. "You told me you'd think about it."
"I did and the answer is still no."
"You really need to think harder about whether you want to throw away a chance at being a family again."
"Louisa, for God's sake!" he exploded. "Why do you always have to keep pushing at the same thing until I get pissed off? I'm not remarrying you. I'm not marrying anyone. Ever. Once was enough."
It took several long seconds for his words seeped into Kate's brain. When they did, she felt the direct hit, and she took a step back. Oh God. The pain shot up and slapped her. It was happening again. D?j? vu. Different guy. Different naughty underwear. Same heartbreak.
"Sorry to interrupt your birthday." She turned in a blur of pain and confusion and walked away before she did something really embarrassing like burst into tears in front of that raving hag Louisa.
Rob caught up with her at the bottom of the step. "Kate. I swear I'm not getting back with Louisa. You don't have to leave."
"Yes. I do." She kept walking. She needed to get in her car. If she could just get into her car.
"I didn't even know she and the baby were coming until she called me from the airport in Sun Valley this morning."
"It doesn't matter." She reached for the door handle.
He put his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him. "I'll call you tomorrow."
The backs of her eyes stung and she felt as if she were about to implode. She recognized the symptoms. She was going to fall apart, but not yet. Not until she was alone. "No. Don't call. I can't do this anymore. I thought I could, but I can't."
His brows wrinkled. "Can't do what?"
"I can't tell myself that the fantasy is enough. It's a lie." Her voice wavered, and she looked down at her feet. "No matter how many times I told myself that you'd hurt me, I've fallen in love with you."
After several heartbeats, he said, "I care about you."
She'd told him she loved him, and he'd said he cared about her. She guessed it was better than a "thank you." She looked up at him and blinked back tears.
"You care about me?"
"More than any other woman."
It wasn't enough. Not this time. "For how long? What's going to happen in a year from now? Two years from now? Five years from now? How much of my life do I give up for you? How many lies do I tell myself? How much longer until you decide we should date other people or just be friends or you've found someone else?"
"I don't know! For as long as it lasts."
She took a breath and let it out slowly. "That's not enough."
"What the hell is?"