Mia parks and waits a moment before turning to me.
"Are you okay with going in?"
"What do you mean? Why aren't you?" I feel a wash of panic rise in me as I turn to her.
She gives me a sad smile and I get the sense she understands, or at least knows, what I'm feeling.
"My picture is all over the place right now. I can tell you what to get and do, but if they recognize me, then we're fucked."
I swallow and nod. "What is this place?"
"It's called a drugstore, I suppose. It'll have the things I need, like hair dye. Here, I wrote it all down. All the people who work there will be wearing the same uniform. If you can't find something, just ask."
"Won't that be strange?"
She shakes her head. "No, they are there to help. When you have it all, there will be someone at the front working who will ring it all up. You can use this money, it'll be more than enough, so just hand them this bill and they'll give you change."
I look down at the faded bill now in my hand and back up at her and realize what she already has. I have never bought anything before. The expression on her face is vaguely sad. A choked sort of laugh leaves me as I shake my head.
"Let's get this over with."
Fear threatens to overwhelm me as I approach, the fluorescence of the light reminding me too much of Jane's old workshop. She hadn't maintained the lights for the last few years, but my childhood was filled with lights much like these. Blindingly bright, leaving nothing to the shadows. The irrational fear that they will expose me for the monster I really am grips me for a moment, but I shake it off.
No one looks twice as I enter. I note the baskets other people are carrying, so I grab an empty one for myself and try to act like everyone else. Doing my best to keep my eyes from bugging out, I take in the aisles of just… things! So many random shapes and colors. Things I've never seen before.
Swallowing, I pull the list of items out of my pocket and look around for signs to tell me where to go. Hair. Perfect, I'll start there.
I take a few minutes to inspect the giant wall of boxes of hair dye but have no clue what I'm doing, so I just pick a few random ones and throw them in my basket. The sharp thrill of making a choice runs up my spine.
Beside them are brushes and other accessories. I see some hair clips that remind me of Mia, so I toss them in as well, feeling pleased with myself for thinking of it.
I manage to get most of the things on the list until I get down to one of the last items and see ibuprofen. I frown, recalling the word from my medical texts as being pain relievers and wonder why she didn't tell me she was hurting.
Not sure where they would keep such a thing, I look around until I find someone wearing a blue uniform looking outfit I'd noticed on a few people walking around.
"Um, hello, do you, um, work here?"
The man turns around and I see he's probably close to my age, in his early twenties. His collar is low enough to show his neckline, utterly bare of scars and chafe marks. In another world, another life, this could have been me.
"Yeah, man, what do you need?"
"Ibuprofen?"
"Yeah, aisle nine, just past the condoms and stuff."
I nod, making my way over to the aisle he indicated and moving slowly until I see a section with a bunch of small boxes labeled "Condoms". I stop and pick up one of the boxes, reading the back of it until my eyes get wide and I realize what they are. Fuck. It takes me a minute, but cheesy commercials play through my mind. Making a mental note to bring it up with Mia, I quickly grab the ibuprofen and go to pay.