Without even looking at me she stands and brushes off her legs.
“I’ll go find some more,” she declares, before walking straight off into the woods. Brutus looks at me for a moment but wisely says nothing.
Chapter Seven
Ana
Ibarely manage to turn my face in time before the tears fall hot and angry against my cheek. I know it’s not totally reasonable for me to be angry at Ax, but the less logical part of me is feeling so much right now that I couldn’t contain it if I wanted to. I think that when you love someone, it’s especially easy to take out wayward emotion on them.
I kick some sticks along the forest path, not actually having come in here to find more wood. I’m vaguely aware that I’m still crying but I don’t do anything to wipe away my tears. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and feel just an ounce of calm being in a place like this. I spent a lot of time in the forest, and it grounds me like nothing else. When I open my eyes again, I feel more together.
Poor Theo. He never even got a chance to truly experience freedom. It’s a sobering thought that if he never met me, he would still be alive right now. Then again, I suppose that's true for the dozens of other inmates that gave their lives in our fight to be free.
Shaking my head, I take another deep breath. This is no time for me to indulge in self-pity and loathing, however easy that might be.
This time, my eyes are dry when they open, and I get to work on collecting more firewood.
By the time I get back, there is already a small fire going in the clearing. I notice there is a break to keep us hidden, and have to stifle a smile. A twig cracks beneath my feet and Brutus immediately looks up at me, giving me a sad sort of a smile which I return. Ax keeps his back to me, though I see the tightness across his shoulders.
“I got more wood,” I declare unnecessarily and then unceremoniously dumping it with the rest. Brutus watches me closely. Ax is very pointedly ignoring me.
“Are you okay, Ana?” Brutus asks in his slow drawl. I nod a lie.
“Theo wouldn’t have wanted us to wallow in misery,” I reply, proud when my voice doesn’t crack. Brutus sits back, seeming to think about this.
Sniffing the air lightly, I notice the smell of something roasting and my stomach rumbles loudly. “Do we have anything to eat?”
“Brutus caught a couple of rabbits earlier, they’re in the coals now,” Ax replies, still not looking my way. I eye him for a moment before peering over the campfire and sure enough, two charred carcasses sit in the embers. My stomach rumbles again.
“I didn’t know you could do that!” I turn to Brutus and I think he actually blushes.
“I learn when I was little, not in Tomb,” he replies, clearly uncomfortable with the implied praise.
“Well, I know all sorts of hunting tricks. I’ll teach you more,” I assure him and Brutus beams. Chuckling lightly, I turn back to the fire and feel eyes on me and turn to see Ax staring at me. My immediate feeling and response is to tense up, get ready for the fight I’m sure is coming. Instead, the expression looking back at me looks worried and full of love. The anger I feel toward him melts away as I stare into his eyes.
He isn’t even mad at me for blaming him, only worried that I walked away. A pang of guilt strikes me and from across the fire I mouth the words, “I’m sorry”.
Ax says nothing but pats the spot next to him. A slow smile grows on my face and I stand and oblige, cuddling up under his arm not caring about the added company with us. He squeezes me lightly, kissing the top of my forehead before turning back to Brutus to ask him something.
The weight of the stress of the day seems to melt off of me and I close my eyes, leaning into Ax’s chest. My body still aches from the days of abuse, much less half a day of walking that my body is no longer used to. Finally, sitting and relaxing, I take inventory of my various aches and pains, almost like a mantra. The steady thump of his heart beneath my head is soothing, and I soon find myself drifting off to sleep.
I wake up to a quiet whisper.
“Ana?” Ax’s voice penetrates through the sleepy fog and I groan, burying myself further into his chest. A low rumbling chuckle responds as he gently lifts my face to his. I blink a few times, letting out a wide yawn. It’s full dark now, Axle’s face only illuminated by the low lighting of the fire. Snore sounds out in the clearing and I assume Brutus is on the other side asleep.
“You should eat,” he says, trailing a hand down the side of my face which is no doubt still mottled with yellow and purple bruising. “And we should lie down and get some real sleep. We’ll be in town tomorrow.”
I nod sleepily and stretch my arms as he goes to grab us both some meat before settling back beside me. I eat quickly and my stomach protests slightly, unused to the greasy, fresh meat, but I manage to keep it down. I can barely keep my eyes open and by the time I’m done, Ax is in front of me with a damp rag wiping my face for me. I watch his face in the flickering firelight, admiring the shape and strength in his bones. My heart clenches and I reach up to touch him, effectively halting his ministrations.
For a moment we just stare at one another, an entire conversation between us within that glance. Although I kind of did before, I know I have to bite my pride and say it.
“I’m sorry I blamed you,” I say quietly, my eyes dropping as I say the words. A firm hand grips my chin and raises it to his face once more.
“Nothing to say sorry for,” he replies seriously, then his mouth twitches. “We seem to be saying that a lot to each other lately.”
I feel my own twitch in response.
“Apparently.”