Something sharp stabs my gut and I look down expecting to see a blade. I groan as it stabs again and I grab my middle, falling to my knees.
I hear something drip once, twice. Frowning I reach my hand down and bring it up to the moonlight even as blackness dances across my vision. The pain seems to blossom then stop, a sort of calm washing over me. The wind picks up around us, deafening me almost completely. I can faintly hear Ax’s voice crying out for me in the distance.
“Ana!”
His voice sounds so worried and I want to tell him I’m okay, the pain stopped already, and I’ll be fine. By the time I figure out the blackness coating my hands is blood, that it’s coming from me, I’ve already succumbed to the darkness.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Ana
My hands move through the water with ease, pushing back and swaying with the current. I revel in the feeling of my skin pressing through the barriers, gliding through the water. Though my eyes are closed I can see the rising bubbles as I fall into the depths. I smile as Josh’s face flutters to my mind, images of our young selves splashing in forest streams and lakes alike. My young self-smiles, the twinkle of her laughter echoing through the waves.
I feel weightless yet heavier than turn to steel as I drop faster and faster until I’m free falling. Wind whips through me and I try to sigh but nothing comes out. Purples and blues cloud my vision, a whirlwind of motion. Despite the sensation of falling, I don’t feel fear or sickness. A strange sort of peace as I close my eyes and succumb to the depths.
∞∞∞
Wetness on my hand wakes me, the smallest drip down my knuckle. Someone grips my hand, but my entire body feels weighed down and heavy. For some reason this doesn’t worry me, not being able to move. It seems fitting somehow.
My eyes blink and I note absently how sad Axle looks beside me. Is he crying?
I’m okay, I try to tell him, but my mouth won’t move.
The blood splatter covering Ax finally clicks and I remember falling.
Falling. Bleeding. The baby.
I can’t move, but I certainly feel my heart break.
Chapter Thirty- Six
Ana
Icry out as I wake for real. My arms instinctively reach out to hug my middle but are stopped by a hand gripping mine. Raising my face, I look into Ax’s stricken face. It’s filthy with dirt and blood, only clear where tracks of tears cleaned it. Staring into his eyes I notice how he’s looking at me, reverently and almost with surprise. Like he didn’t expect me to wake up. Have I ever seen him cry before?
My mind feels choked and full, like I can’t quite grasp any given idea until recognition of what happened takes hold.
A choked sob releases from my throat as hot tears fall down my cheeks.
“Oh my god, Ana,” Axle says as he takes my face in his hands and kisses away each tear, even as his face wets mine further. “I thought I’d lost you.”
His voice cracks and we sit there holding one another sobbing. His hands are everywhere, touching my hair and face and arms, as though reassuring himself I’m really there. I can’t seem to move though my body shakes uncontrollably. Ax’s hands continue their gentle movement until they find the arms hugging my belly.
Pulling back, I look into his eyes, feeling one more tear slip from my eye.
“I’m so sorry,” I manage to rasp, my voice picking up speed and strength as I speak. “I wasn’t feeling well, and I should have known. I know you didn’t want it but it’s all my fault—”
“Ana.”
“—never would—”
“Ana!”
A small hiccup leaves my mouth as I stop talking. I watch in confusion the changing expression on Ax’s face, from worried to...loving?
“Ana, the baby is fine.”
I blink, taking a moment to register the words. My hands fly to my stomach as I look down and back up into his face. He nods, a smile on his lips.