I can’t find it in myself to regret it.
Chapter Four
Axle
For my entire life I’ve been woken to the sounds of men, stone, metal, and chaos. Screams were my lullaby as a child. When my mind comes to the first hints of awareness and birdsong fills the air, I actually feel a moment of panic. My eyes shoot open only to quickly close, the unfamiliar brightness blinding me.
“Ax,” a voice says at the same instant a gentle hand places itself on my chest. “It’s okay, it’s me. We’re safe.”
My pounding heart begins to slow, and I manage to crack an eye open to look up to Ana’s face. The first thing I notice is the bruising, the cut lip. Then the worry shining through her eyes. Beneath, only love.
“Fuck, that’s bright,” I manage to mutter as I pull myself up, rubbing my eyes furiously. It takes another minute, but they do adjust, and I manage to blink a few times, looking around the small clearing where we fell asleep.
“Everyone’s still over that way,” Ana says before I can ask, “While you were sleeping, I went and checked. It’s still early, most are still asleep.”
I nod before standing to stretch the aches out of my limbs. The morning is cool, unlike the ever-pressing heat inside The Tomb that never really dissipated. Making my way to the stream, I splash my face a few times and savor a cool drink. All the while, Ana sits on the bank and watches with an expression on her face I can’t quite decipher.
“What’s on your mind?”
Her lips turn up just a touch but it’s not a happy so much as resigned.
“Big day today,” she replies. “Lots to do. To decide.”
“We’ll be fine,” I assure her. “Don’t worry about it.” Even though I was worrying about it myself only last night.
“What do you mean don’t worry? We just escaped from a maximum-security prison after killing a lot of fucking people. We’re injured and we have nothing. How the hell can I not worry?”
I wave a hand at her before pulling my pants back on. They’re so old and faded that they aren’t even really a color anymore so much as an off-blend taupe. Old and new stains cover them, and it occurs to me that soon I can actually choose my own clothes for the first time in my life.
“Ax?”
I turn to look at her, a small frown on her brow.
“You need to take this seriously,” she tells me, and I feel a pang of annoyance.
“I’ll take care of us,” I reply, and her lips tighten into a thin line.
“You have no idea what it’s like out here,” she says in a quieter voice. We stare at one another, but the moment is broken by shouts in the distance.
“Shit,” I mutter and we both quickly rise, throwing on the last of our clothes and rushing back to the camp.
“What’s going on?” I ask as we step into the site. A few men are huddled on the far side looking at something on the ground, but I go straight toward Ethan. Sammi is standing just behind him, watching closely.
“Ciaran died in the night,” Ethan mutters to me, “Idiot musta been knifed during the fight and didn’t tell us. Bled out where he slept.”
I let out a heavy sigh, meeting Ana’s gaze only briefly. The beginning of our fight still simmers between us. Not forgotten, only pushed aside for now.
“I spoke to him last night. Ax, we need to talk,” Ethan says.
I raise a brow at him, curious at what he could possibly need to be secretive about. When Emilio steps out I nod at Ethan. We’ll speak.
“What should we do with him?” Emilio asks, waving an uncaring hand at the body. “He’ll stink before long.”
I open my mouth to respond but Sammi surprises me by stepping in and interrupting.
“There’s a place not so far from here. A graveyard of sorts. It’s on the way to town anyway and we should properly lay him to rest.”
A few nods of agreement around us makes the decision, but by the time I turn to talk to Ana again, she’s already walked away and is talking to Theo on the other side of camp. Not eager to start a fight, I help to prepare Ciaran’s body to move.