“This is bullshit,” he gripes, and I only nod before turning back to the barrier of rocks before us.
“I should go get Ana,” I say as I step back, looking at the pile critically. We’ve been at this for what feels like most of the day, and there’s still a bit more before we’re at the opening. I think we can get through by morning if we work through the night, but I’m sure Ana is anxious as hell by now.
“What’s the plan?” Ethan asks, reaching over to grab his water skin and pour some into his mouth.
“I don’t trust one single fucker up there,” I tell him. “So let’s get Ana and the shit we need and come back here until we’re done.”
Ethan nods slowly. “Why don’t I go get her? I can grab some stuff, and I’m not as conspicuous walking around.” Despite the fact that we are almost the same—albeit large—size, it’s true, I tend to attract a lot of attention here because of my previous position. My skin itches at the thought of even Ethan being close to Ana, but I know I’m being ridiculous.
“You’re right,” I tell him hesitantly. “Go fast and get her to put on her boy outfit, it may help you guys get back here without being noticed.”
As soon as Ethan is gone, I pull more of the rocks away and let my mind wander. Last night I had a lot of time to think while I held Ana, and one of the many things I thought about is what would be on the other side of this tunnel. It’s been years since Crow took this route out, and I know he made it or I wouldn’t have gotten the niceties I have over the years, but a lot can happen in that amount of time. Look at this tunnel, for fuck’s sakes.
Then, assuming we can get through the tunnel and outside these walls, what comes next? From what I know of the world, technology has never recovered after The Split. We could hypothetically just make for the wilderness, the forests that Ana speaks so fondly of. But what the fuck do I know about trees? My first few years of childhood were spent in a city, and I’ve been here ever since. A dose of fear strikes me at the thought and I quickly push it back down.
I’m well read, and I know what it means to be institutionalized. I’ve read books about prisons and prisoners before The Split and how they struggled to adjust to life outside. I refuse to let fear drive me anymore, but the thought of being outside The Tomb scares the piss out of me. This is my life, my home.
No.
Ana is home. Once we get out of here, I can worry about the rest.
“Ax!” Ethan’s voice carries through the tunnel in the distance and even from far away, the panic in his voice is unmistakable. My eyes widen and I drop the pick I’m holding and start making my way toward Ethan’s voice as fast as my legs will carry me.
When I finally reach him, Ethan’s chest is heaving, and he looks like he’s about to throw up.
“It’s Ana,” he says, his own eyes wide and afraid. “She turned herself in.”
* * *
Rage courses through my veins faster and hotter than ever before. My mind is screaming at me, the demons shrill and never ending. Fire. Fury. Shrieks and hollers of a million evil voices clamoring to the surface. I can feel my heart thumping in my chest and the blood rushing in my ears. Even though I see Ethan’s lips still moving, the sound doesn’t come.
She fucking turned herself in.
I sprint back to our room, not willing to believe it until I see her gone for myself. The few inmates dumb enough to be in my path are quickly knocked to the side. A few grumbles can be heard in my wake, and I only scowl. They should be grateful I’m not ripping them to pieces. I might do just that if Ethan’s right.
When I get back to our room, I see the door is locked and quickly pull out my key, noting as soon as the door opens the deadbolt isn’t on. My eyes scan the room only to find what I know to be true. Ana isn’t here. Standing in the doorway, my entire body is tense, and I let out an inhuman sound, roaring with the absolute fury and terror that can’t escape from inside me.
Without even thinking, my hand falls to one of the knives on my belt and I don’t hesitate to bring it to my skin, pressing down hard. I hiss as the blood pours over the edge of the newly made cut, but it does nothing, the demons and fire in my blood are still there.
Only Ana can calm them.
Ana’s gone.
Ana left me.
“Mama, Mama, come back!”
Running footsteps come up behind me and I turn, knife in hand, to see Ethan has caught up. I see something akin to pity on his face and I glower at him.
“I-I’m so sorry, man,” he says, wisely keeping a distance from me, “I came up here to look for her and saw the door was locked but she didn’t answer and then…”
“Is it true?” another voice comes up behind Ethan, and Theo steps into view. “She’s gone?”
I can’t seem to find my voice right now and don’t trust myself to speak so I’m vaguely grateful when Ethan answers for me.
“Apparently,” he replies. “I came to get her, and I saw John and he…”
“Wait,” I interrupt, “What did that fucker say?”