I stare down at the phrase, You are mine to protect. And despite the many ways every specific word Kayden chose changes the context and the promise of everything I’ve asked for and demanded, it’s so eerily similar to those in my flashback that a chill runs down my spine.
By six o’clock, I’ve narrowed my dress choices to two, picked out my lingerie for the night, danced awhile, and Marabella has taught me a “party” list of Italian words while cleaning up the mess Kayden and I made in the living room the prior night. It’s time to color my hair, and out of the three choices provided, I choose to be adventurous with a deep, chocolate brown instead of medium brown. If I can’t be red, I want to find a shade I can love.
By seven o’clock, not only is my hair sleekly flat-ironed, it’s a shiny, gorgeous brown that I think might just fit that “love” bill. Since Kayden has yet to arrive and I’m nervous, I decide to go ahead and get dressed. I start by putting on a long black Valentino dress, but the sparkle in the gown doesn’t quite feel right and I change into a sleeveless, knee-length, velvet Gucci gown. Once I’ve zipped myself into the snug silhouette, I decide the exposed horizontal seams and yoke lace neckline, which matches the lace of the hemline, delivers a look that is elegantly sexy and understated, and I love it. The outfit is completed with Gucci heels and a small evening bag, both also lace-trimmed. Regrettably, the bag isn’t large enough to allow Charlie to join the party, but Kayden will be with me, and I have no doubt he’ll be well armed.
Next, I need to put on the bracelet, but I really want to wait for Kayden and tell him what it means to me. I set its box on the bathroom sink next to my purse, hands on my hips. Okay, then, I’m done until Kayden arrives. I walk to the bedroom and it’s ten minutes until eight. Obviously, we’re going to be late to the party, or just not go. My cell phone rings from inside my new purse on the bathroom counter, and I answer quickly.
“Hello.”
“Are you ready?”
I glance at the velvet box. “About three minutes from done.”
“I’m waiting in the center foyer.”
“Oh . . . okay. I’ll be right down.” I end the call. Why didn’t he dress here with me? He’d literally have to have showered and dressed elsewhere. I’m confused and I feel upset, and I tell myself I’m overreacting. He had important business today. Where he got dressed shouldn’t matter, and I stare at the velvet box. Inhaling, I open it, staring down at the striking diamond-studded hawk in the center. So much for the romantic, dramatic proclamation I’d wanted to make when I put it on.
I reach for the bracelet and put it on, and it fits perfectly, as does the band, the hawk so like the one Kayden has etched into his wrist. He fits me perfectly, and in my heart and soul, I know that no past life will change that. I reach down and trace one of the diamond-studded wings, and this is truly the most unique, stunning piece of jewelry I’ve ever seen. The butterfly was gorgeous, but this is . . . Wait. My brows knot together. The most unique, stunning piece of jewelry I’ve ever seen. I smile with the realization that I know this to be a fact, when up to this point, most things have been uncertain. There was no “the best I ever had” or “the favorite thing I’ve ever done or seen” before this moment. My mind is shifting, opening up. I feel it, and suddenly my mood is lighter, and I am optimistic.
Eager to share this news with Kayden, I pick up my purse and walk into the closet, retrieving the Gucci dress coat I’ve chosen for the night before hurrying from the bedroom and down the hallway. At the bottom of the stairs, though, I am suddenly nervous about him not dressing here, wondering if I’ve read him wrong about where we stand. This idea has me pausing before opening the door separating me from the central foyer, where I know Kayden is waiting. Lifting my arm, I stare at the hawk on my wrist. I read it as a sign of a growing bond, but maybe it’s really only about protection. I’ll know when I see him, I decide. But I still find myself shifting my coat to cover it before pressing the button to lift the door.
I step to the center of the archway, waiting for the door to lift and reveal the main castle foyer. Seconds tick by, feeling slow when they are fast, and within a few breaths the barrier is gone, and Kayden is standing directly in front of me, a perfectly fitted tuxedo hugging every tall, broad, perfect inch of him. He owns it just as well as he owns denim and leather, like he owns everything around him. Like he does me—and that is trust. A deep, complete trust that my past says I should have for no one, yet I have it for him.
I want to tell him this, but all that comes out is, “Hi.”
Those pale, pale blue eyes of his answer with a fast, intimate sweep up and down my body, before he snags my hips and pulls me to him.
“Hi,” he replies, aligning our lower bodies and removing more than the space between us. I know now that we are not separate, but together. “You,” he declares, his voice low and silky, “are breathtaking in every way.”
“And you,” I say, flattening my hand on his chest, feeling his heart thundering the way mine is, “really are beautiful, Kayden Wilkens.” I search his face, finding starkness in his eyes that I want to erase but know I cannot. “How bad was it with Enzo’s mother?”
“Bad enough that if you and I could be fucking it out of my head right now . . .”
“And yet you dressed somewhere else.”
“I wasn’t in a good place, and tonight, before this party we need to attend, was not the time for you to see that part of me.”
“Is there ever going to be a time you show that part of yourself to me?”
“Yes. Or you wouldn’t be going to this party with me.”
“Promise me, Kayden.”
“I promise you, Ella. Just not yet.”
“I’d reject that answer, but I know we have a party to go to, so I guess we’re just going to have to stick to the plan.”
“And that would be what?”
“There’s going to be some fighting before we get to the fucking.”
He wraps me in his arms and presses his cheek to mine. “And what if I don’t want to fuck you? What if I want to make love to you, Ella?”
I lean back to look at him, and in his eyes, the starkness of moments before is now tenderness and passion. There is an open door I needed so damn bad tonight. “Can we do both?”
“We will do both.” He brushes his lips over mine, a whisper of a touch I feel everywhere, and I wish he were touching me now, not later. “Many times,” he adds, seeming to reluctantly release me, before inching up his sleeve to check the time. But this time, instead of seeing the watch, it’s the Hawk beneath it that has my attention, reminding me of the bracelet yet to be revealed.
“We need to get moving,” he says, draping his arm around my shoulders and heading toward the main foyer. “Chief Donati will be there tonight and I don’t want us to miss him.”