“Yes.” Caterina laughs a little nervously. “I want to say congratulations, but I’m not sure that’s the right thing to say under the circumstances.”
“I don’t know if I feel like it’s something to celebrate either,” I admit. “But it’s happened, and Liam has promised me he wants us both. So we’re going to figure this out together—”
“Is that the decision you’ve made?”
I hesitate, feeling suddenly put on the spot. “I—we still have to talk some things out, but I think yes, that’s the decision we want to make—”
“Ana, come back to Manhattan.” There’s an almost pleading note in Caterina’s voice as she says it that startles me.
“I—I think I want to stay here. I feel at home here, and Liam—”
“I know Sofia mentioned to you that Luca and Viktor are upset with the situation.”
“Well, yes, but—”
“Ana, I love you. I consider you a dear friend. But I need you to listen to me carefully. Sofia won’t tell you things as plainly as I will because she’s your best friend, and she wants you to be happy, no matter what. She encouraged Liam to go after you. She’s encouraged this relationship all along because she thinks the two of you are good for each other—and maybe that’s true. But Ana—that’s all that this relationship is good for. The two of you.”
The water in the bath is still warm, but I suddenly feel terribly cold. “That’s all it needs to be good for,” I say faintly. “The two of us. Me and Liam.”
“In this life that we live, Ana, that’s not true. When it first started, Viktor’s and my marriage wasn’t good for either of us. I hated him, thought he was beneath me and didn’t even want him to touch me. He was infuriated by me. We fought, we didn’t get along, it wasn’t a good match—but we married each other because it was best forothers. For Luca’s interests and the people who depend on him, for Viktor’s interests and the people he’s responsible for. Terrible things happened because of it, but good things came of it too, Ana. And now our marriage has turned into one of love. In this world, Ana, marriages don’t start out that way. It doesn’t matter that Liam loves you and not Saoirse. She’s what’s best for—”
“Don’t you dare say she’s what’s best for him. You don’t know that—”
“I do.”
“Did Viktor tell you to say this?” I can feel my throat closing over again, anxiety and fear rising up to clog it.
“My opinions and Viktor’s are aligned in this, Ana. You’ve been through so much already. If you stay with Liam and he keeps pushing forward to be with you instead of marrying the woman he promised to marry, it could have far-reaching consequences. He’s putting himself and you in danger by continuing this relationship. Please, Ana, just come home.”
I wrap one arm around myself, fighting back the tears. “I don’t know if Manhattan is home anymore—”
“You have people here who love you. Sofia, me—”
“This doesn’t feel like love. This feels like an intervention.”
“Sometimes that’s love,” Caterina says gently. “Ana, Luca and Viktor aren’t going to back Liam on this. The Kings aren’t going to stand for him setting Saoirse aside. They care about business, loyalty, alliance, and promises Liam has made. His father was a traitor, and they are looking for those signs in him too, always watchful. If Liam goes against the other Kings, he won’t have any backup. Luca and Viktor will stand with the alliance, not with him. Saoirse is practically Kings' royalty, Ana, Irish through and through, the eldest daughter of one of their most preeminent families. That she marries Liam and makes little McGregor/O’Sullivan babies is what matters to them. Not Liam’s feelings, not yours, not love or desire. Duty. Keeping his word.”
“He made promises to me, too,” I whisper. “What about those?”
“The promises he made to a Russian girl of no consequence mean nothing to them,” Caterina says, and her tone is gentle, but her words slice at me like knives. “I’m not trying to be cruel, Ana. To the people here who love you—to Sofia, to me, even Sasha, you mean everything. But to these men, you are nothing. They could kill Liam before they see him with you. Marrying you means that your child will inherit—thischild, if it’s a boy. If they believe the child is Liam’s, they will see a half-Irish, half-Russian child as the future of the Kings. They won’t stand for it. And if they think for even a second that there’s a chance the childisn’tLiam’s?” Caterina sighs. “Oh, Ana, it will make everything so much worse.”
“Liam is going to claim the baby as his. No one has to know that there’s a possibility it might not be. To everyone else, this babyisLiam’s, unquestionably—”
“Things have a way of getting out. Ana, everything about this is wrong. Everything about it is as likely to get Liam, and even you killed as work out—more likely, even. Please, please, just come back to New York—”
“I can’t,” I whisper, and I know that I mean it down to the very depths of my soul. “I can’t leave Liam. Since the day I met him in Russia—there’s been something there. I can’t ignore it or walk away from it. He saved me and brought me here, and it’s been healing me, one step at a time. I think this is where I’m meant to be, Cat, who I’m meant to be with. He crossed an ocean, countries, a continent to find me. I can’t abandon him now.”
I take a deep breath, closing my eyes. “I’m sorry, Cat. I hear what you’re saying. But Liam’s mind is made up—and mine is too. I love him. I’m staying.”
I hear her intake of breath as she starts to speak, but I don’t wait to hear what she’s going to say. I end the call, dropping the phone to the tiles as the magnitude of what I’ve done, what I’ve chosen, begins to sink in.
My hands cover my face, and I lean forward, curling in on myself in the cooling water.
And then, all alone in the luxurious bathroom, I start to cry.
TWENTY
LIAM