The truth is, I don’t even know for sure how Ana feels about me. She was sweet and funny when we spoke at Viktor’s safe house in the garden, but it was clear that she had many walls up. I could feel how guarded she was, how unsure she felt about why I was even talking to her. I have no idea what happened to her, but from the little I’d gathered from Sofia, Caterina, Viktor, and particularly Luca’s warnings to me, something traumatizing had happened to Ana to put her in that wheelchair. She’d lost her career as a ballerina, that much was plain. As for the rest of it—all I know is that it must have been something awful.
And now, something worse still has happened to her.
She’s been sold to a man whose name none of us know. The only clues we have are his French accent, and he’s clearly obscenely rich. I’m meant to go to Manhattan next week, and Viktor plans to allow me to go through his former client files. It might give me some further clue to go off of. But what then?
Chasing after Ana means leaving behind my duties here, my responsibilities, and more importantly at the moment, putting off making a decision about Saoirse.
Which in and of itself puts everything in danger that I’ve tried to hang onto, for my father’s sake. Traitor or not, he was my father. And I’m doing my best to repair his legacy.
“No answer is an answer in and of itself, ya know,” Niall says with an exaggerated Gaelic drawl.
“And if I say yes?” I eye him, dropping my hands. “I know what you’re going to say to me.”
“You said she was sold.” Niall raises an eyebrow. “It’s a hell of a fate for a girl like that, to be sure. And I can understand wanting to go after her. But surely that’s Viktor’s responsibility? Not yours, to put so much at risk for a lass ya barely know.”
“I have—feelings for her,” I say tersely. “I can’t leave this alone. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself—”
“And will ya be able to live with yourself if your seat falls to one of the others? O’Flaherty, maybe? Graham O’Sullivan might get tired of waiting and marry his lass off to one of the other men. Your position isn’t so strong that you can afford to risk it, Liam. We Irish have fought too many squabbles and wars to see blood as the be-all and end-all rights to rule. Ya have to earn it. And your father didn’t leave you in the best spot for that.”
“I know.” I rub my hand over my mouth again, feeling exhausted. I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep since Alexei broke into Viktor’s safe house, not even since getting back to Boston. They’re all full of Ana, most of them nightmares about what could be happening to her while I try to find the first lead to where she might be.
No man who buys an unwilling woman could be agoodman.
I push myself up from the table, needing desperately to think about something else. “I’m heading to the ring to blow off some steam.” I glance at Niall. “Come along with me? I could use a good sparring partner.”
“Aye, and I’m the best.” Niall stands up, grinning. But his smile falters as he looks squarely at me. “Think about it, Liam. You weren’t opposed to the O’Sullivan match before you left for Russia. That lass changed things, and not for the better. She won’t be accepted by the other Kings as a proper bride for you. Best put her out of your head, and the responsibility on Andreyev to find her. Make it a condition of the alliance, if you want. But don’t go yourself.”
“I’ll take what you’ve said under advisement,” I say flatly, but I can see from the expression on Niall’s face that he doesn’t believe me. “Come on now. Let’s go get a workout in.”
The boxing ring has always been a good place to clear my head. Sweat and a good old-fashioned fight are good for the soul, and it’s where I feel most at home these days. Certainly not at the Kings’ meeting table, where I was never meant to sit at all, and since coming back to Boston, not in my own apartment either. My resting hours were already occupied with thoughts of my late father and my missing brother more often than not, but now they’re full of thoughts of Ana, too, waking or sleeping.
I’m going to find you,I tell her again silently, as if she can hear me, wherever she is. As if the words could travel that far and find her for me.
I just hope that it’s a promise I can keep.