Saoirse smiles at me as I approach, her rosy mouth curving upwards. She looks happy to see me, and I don’t know if it’s actually my presence or that I’m here doing what I’m supposed to be doing, but it’s better than anger, I suppose.
“Liam.” She leans up as I come to stand next to her, brushing her lips over my cheek. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“As am I, lad.” Graham O’Sullivan turns to look at me, his voice gruff in his bearded face. “I’d started to think that you planned to dishonor my daughter and myself by shirking your duty to the Kings.”
“Not at all.” I force myself to smile pleasantly at him. “Just had to do a bit of housekeeping first, that’s all.”
Graham doesn’t look as if he entirely believes me, but he doesn’t argue. “Do you have a ring with you for my daughter, lad?”
Ah, fuck.I hadn’t thought of buying an engagement ring for Saoirse, mostly because I’d been doing my damndest to avoid the betrothal altogether.
His mouth twitches with irritation. “I’d expected as much. Here you are, lad.” Graham holds out a black velvet box, and I take it reluctantly, as if it might burn me.
I can tell from his expression that he’s not at all thrilled to be marrying Saoirse to me. If he had a son, I expect he’d be pushing for an uprising among the Kings to seat his son in my place instead. But since all he has is a daughter, this is his power play. I know he’d have rather married her to Connor, if nothing else.
There’s a small, bitter pleasure in knowing that Graham O’Sullivan’s hand is in a way being as forced as mine. But it doesn’t change the facts of what is happening here tonight.
Nor does it change that I can’t take pleasure in making a false vow. I’ve always believed strongly in keeping my word. My father turned traitor, and that will make my own betrayal if I break this contract, all the worse. But even if there weren’t a single consequence to breaking the promise I’ll be making tonight, I would still feel guilty about it, down to my bones.
Niall was right about one thing, Saoirse deserves better than a false vow and empty words. But that’s all I can offer her tonight. The alternative—leaving Ana to her fate or letting someone else be the one to go after her—is even more unthinkable to me.
I open the velvet box Graham hands me. It’s a little rough around the edges, clearly having been kept in a drawer for some time. Inside is an oval diamond set in heavy gold, with a round emerald on either side.
“It’s was Saoirse’s grandmother’s ring, and then her mother’s,” Graham says stiffly. “She’ll be proud to wear it.”
“Aye,” Saoirse says softly, her slight accent peeking through. A generation removed from our homeland, she sounds more American than anything else. But growing up around a generation of proud Irishmen and women means that it can’t be escaped entirely, and the sound of the faint accent coloring her syllables is almost charming.
There’s a great deal about her that could be charming, if only she were the woman I wanted.
Father Donahue clears his throat. I can see from his expression that he’s aware of the tension and that not everyone here is thrilled with the proceedings. However, he’s been party to enough mafia dealings over the years—Italian, Russian, and Irish—to know when to turn a blind eye and when to speak up. This is a time for the former, and he steps up to the altar, the two of us following with Graham O’Sullivan just behind me like a glaring gargoyle.
“Liam Aidan McGregor,” Father Donahue begins, his eyes fixed on me uncomfortably. It makes me feel like he can see something even I can’t, something down into my soul. “Is it your intention tonight to pledge your hand to this woman, Saoirse O’Sullivan, with the intent that you will bind yourself to her in holy matrimony?”
My mouth feels dry as cotton, and I’m not sure I’ll be able to speak. Saoirse’s hand is light and slender in mine, and I cast a sideways glance at her. She looks ethereal in the light, and I feel like a shite and a cad for not wanting her. A month ago, perhaps I would have, even in a superficial sense.
The heart wants what the heart wants.
Everyone I know, who I trust, would say it’s romantic drivel—except, maybe, the men who are going along with me on this mission to rescue Ana. They, at least, see some value in what I’m doing, even if they don’t know what I hope for at the end of it. And Sofia—
Sofia is depending on me too, to bring her best friend back to her. She’d had no problem playing on the emotions I have for Ana, even encouraging them. But then again, what wouldn’t someone do to rescue someone they love, especially when she can’t go herself?
Graham clears his throat behind me, and I know my time is up.
“I do,” I say clearly, turning to face Saoirse in front of the priest.
“And do you, Saoirse Margaret O’Sullivan, pledge your hand to Liam McGregor, with the intent to give yourself to him in holy matrimony?”
She smiles softly at me and nods. “I do,” she whispers, and I feel my palm starting to sweat around the ring I’m clenching in my other fist.
“Then Liam, you may place the ring on your betrothed’s hand to signify this bond and solemn promise.”
My hands are shakier than Saoirse’s, though I manage to hide it. I slip the heavy gold ring over her slender finger, and I see her small, sharp intake of breath as it settles on her hand, as if she were expecting I might bolt at the last moment.
It’s taken everything in me not to.
I feel numb afterward, as if the ring were the most solid part of the ceremony, though there’s more to it. Father Donahue gives us both communion as we kneel in front of the altar, Graham still at our backs, and then the contract is presented to the three of us to sign. Me first, and then Graham, and Saoirse last of all. She signs quickly, without hesitation, and I feel a pang of sympathy for her.
Even if I never touch her over the course of our engagement—and I have no plans to—it will be difficult for her father to marry her off if I break the contract. There’s a stigma to it, even if the girl is still virginal when the contract is broken. It’s just one of the many reasons that Graham O’Sullivan won’t take it lightly, and one of the reasons that I feel so much guilt for letting it go this far at all.