9
CATERINA
Anika is sleeping when I walk quietly into her room. She still looks small and fragile lying there, but I can see that a good bit of the color has returned to her face. She looks significantly better than when we’d brought her up here, and for the first time since then, I feel as if I don’t have to worry about whether or not she’ll survive the wound. I know the doctor said that she has plenty of healing left to do, but the relief I feel at seeing the warmth and color in her face is palpable.
I reach out to touch her hand, and she shifts a little, making a small noise. Her fingers curl around mine, and my heart nearly stops in my chest.
Yelena has attached herself to me since day one, but I wasn’t sure if Anika would ever really warm up to me. I know that her holding my hand in her sleep doesn’t really mean anything, but it makes me feel as if I’ve unlocked something nonetheless, as if I’ve been given something special. Something that I really needed today, after everything that I lost last night with Viktor.
These girls are the reason I’m staying, above anything else. So to feel Anika’s small fingers curl around mine, as if she subconsciously trusts me and wants me here, feels better than I could possibly have imagined.
She moves again, whimpering a little, and then her eyes flicker, her light lashes fluttering against her cheeks as she slowly opens her eyes. I go very still, my heart beating wildly in my chest, afraid that what I’m seeing isn’t real.
It’s the first time she’s woken up since the break-in, and I know I should call for Viktor. But I can’t bring myself to move or speak, afraid that I’ll realize I’m imagining things.
She turns her head to look at me, blinking slowly. “Caterina?” Her voice is slurred slightly, probably from the painkillers the doctor gave her, but I can hear my name. “Is that you?”
“It is.” I grip her hand a little tighter, blinking back the sudden rush of tears. “I’m here, sweetheart.”
“Did you…stay?” The words come out with some difficulty, but she manages it. “Stay with me?”
“As much as I could,” I tell her, and I feel the tears start to slip over the edge of my eyelids, dripping down my cheeks. I can’t stop it, even though I don’t want to cry in front of her, because I’d been so afraid that she’d never wake up again. “I promise.”
“Why are you crying?” Anika’s voice breaks on the words. “Caterina?”
“I’m just so happy to see you awake.” I manage a smile through my tears. “I’m so happy, sweetie.”
“I was—scared.”
“I know.” I bend down, kissing her knuckles gently. “We all were. But you’re okay now. You’re going to be okay.”
“Promise?” Anika squints at me, and I can see a little of that suspicion that’s always in her face returning. It makes me feel better, not worse because that’s the attitude that I recognize, the spark in the little girl that made me certain she’d fight just as hard to survive as she fights everyone else.
“I promise,” I tell her firmly. “The doctor said that if you woke up, it would mean that things were going to be okay. And here you are. You’re awake.”
Anika nods, trying to swallow. “I want—water—” she manages. “I want daddy.”
“I’ll get you both,” I promise her. “Water, and then I’ll go find your father.” The thought of seeing Viktor makes my stomach clench with anxiety, but if Anika needs him, then I have to put that aside.
I get a cup of water for Anika from the side table, gently sliding one arm under the little girl’s shoulders to help her sit up as she reaches for it. “Slowly,” I tell her, sniffing back the last of my tears as I hold her. “Be careful.”
“I know how to drink water,” she mutters, but there’s not her usual animosity in it. She drinks all of it and hands me back the cup, and when she looks at me, her expression is softer than I’ve ever seen it. “Thank you, Caterina,” Anika says quietly, her voice still breaking in spots, and I smile down at her.
“You’re welcome. I’m going to go get your father, okay?”
She nods, swallowing as she licks her dry lips and settles back into the pillows as I help her lay back.
“I’ll be right back, I promise.”
I almost run into Levin the moment I step out into the hall, having to back up to keep from smacking directly into him. “Oh.” I clear my throat, flushing despite myself. There’s no reason that Levin should know anything about what goes on between Viktor and me. Still, he’s the closest person to Viktor in this house. For some reason, I feel as if he’s picked up on some of it—or at the very least is aware of his employer’s darker—proclivities.
“Are you alright, Mrs. Andreyva?”
No. I’m definitely not alright. Nothing that’s happened in the last months has been anything approachingalright.
I don’t say any of that. I clear my throat, wiping at my eyes quickly. “I’m trying to find Viktor,” I tell him quickly. “Anika is awake and asking for him.”
The relief on Levin’s face is so real and palpable that it makes me like him even more. He’s treated me well in the short time that I’ve known him, especially at the cabin, and I understand why Viktor trusts him.Iwould trust him if need be. But it’s even more clear now that he cares for Viktor and his family in a way that goes beyond just duty, and it makes me soften towards him more than I had already.