“Or you take the easy way out.” I glare at her. “The coward’s way out.”
“Or I take the only way out that you’ve left me. Just like Vera did.”
Something snaps inside of me at that, something brittle and painful. I grab her arm, snatching up another robe and throwing it over her shoulders so that it drapes around her, covering most of her nudity. She tries to pull away, but I don’t give an inch, my fingers sinking into her flesh as I pull her towards the door.
“Viktor!”
I don’t answer. I don’t look at her. I march her down the hall, towards one of the empty guest rooms further down, and shove the door open, pushing her inside. She staggers as I let go of her, her arms wrapping around her waist as she clutches the robe to her, her face suddenly pale and frightened.
“Don’t look at me like that,” I snap at her. “Fine. If this is what you want, enough to make those kinds of threats, if that’s the way you feel, I won’t touch you at all. I’ll never fuck you again. We’ll use IVF when this business with Alexei is settled, and we’re back home, until you give me an heir, and then we’ll speak as little as possible. I’ll never fucking touch you again, if it’s that horrible for you. If my cock inside of you is a fate worse than death.” I glare at her, my chest heaving, a rage like I’ve rarely felt rising up inside of me. “But I warn you, Caterina, not to push too much further. It’s unwise to back a bear into a corner. Alexei will find that out soon. I’d hate for you to find out, as well.”
Her mouth drops open, but before she can say another word, I slam the door shut, leaving her on the other side of it. My hand grips the doorknob hard enough to hurt, a riot of emotions rising up in me so quickly that I can’t make sense of any of them. I’m furious beyond belief, but there’s something else beneath it, too, something that I don’t want to look at too closely.
I’d believed that tonight meant something for Caterina. That it had been a step in our marriage, a turning point. She’d let herself go with me, and I’d done the same, against every instinct I had. Against all of my better judgment. I’d said things that I’d told myself I’d never say to another woman again.
Lyubov moya.My love.
I hadn’t said it in a very long time. I’d never planned on it again. I’d told myself that my heart was closed.
Caterina has cracked it open against my will. And as I let go of the doorknob, I feel something other than the cold, black rage filling me.
I feel pain, my chest tightening, that rush of grief that had threatened to swallow me after Vera died, despite how furious I’d been with her, too. A sense of loss that I’d hoped to never feel again.
I can hear her starting to cry on the other side of the door, and I want to open it. To go to her. To hold her in my arms and tell her that I can change.
That I can be a better man for her. That we can make some different life, if it means not having a closed-door between us, my wife crying on one side while I seethe on the other.
But then I remember her threat, and my hand drops to my side.
She’d pulled out the one thing that she knew could hurt me, taken the dagger that I’d trusted her with, and driven it into my chest.
I’m not sure if I can ever forgive her.
So I walk down the hall, her muffled sobs fading into the distance, back down to the room that we had shared.
And I close the door behind me, shutting her out.
Maybe for good.