I want her. I know that she finds herself less beautiful now; I can see it in her eyes, in the way she withdraws and won’t meet mine when I look at her naked body. I can see her thinking about the scars that will linger, the way that those two monsters held out in the shed has changed her, that she’ll never again be the same woman that I married.
But nothing about those injuries has changed how much I want her. I see nothing when I look at her other than the same beautiful woman who has driven me close to madness with desire, frustration, and need.
They tried to take her away from me.
I won’t let them succeed.
I know I should leave her in peace, go back to my room and try to get some more sleep myself, hopefully, dreamless this time. But I feel rooted to the spot, unable to look away from her face, coming even more into focus as my eyes adjust to the darkness. She looks so beautiful, so peaceful, her soft lips parted as she breathes, and I feel that aching, maddening throb in my cock again as I look down at her.
Without meaning to, my hand slides downward, brushing over the soft cotton covering my cock, feeling it lurch into my palm at the slight touch. I haven’t had a release in days, too focused on what was needed of me, too worried about Caterina, too concerned with the future of my family and my business.
But now, in the dark silence of the night, standing next to my wife’s bedside, all of that seems to slip away.
There is only the two of us and my need for her, like a third being in the room. Present and palpable, aching, throbbing.Wanting.
I can’t fuck her. Even I’m not that much of a monster. She’s still too injured, and I know she wouldn’t want me. Not now, not yet, and I won’t force myself on her, not after what she’s been through.
But I need something. Some kind of relief.
I feel almost like I’m in a dream again as I slip my cock out, the instantaneous pleasure of feeling the velvet skin of it against my palm, rock-hard and burning hot, making me suck in a breath through my teeth. It’s been too long since I’ve come, and I start to stroke slowly, forgetting what this is, what I’m doing, what it would look like if anyone saw this.
No one will. No one else would dare come into my wife’s bedroom in the middle of the night.
No one but me.
I look down at her parted lips, aching to push my cock against them, to feel the warm wet heat of her mouth. She looked so beautiful on her knees, so lovely when she opened that mouth to take me in, her eyes wide and pleading, her hair wrapped around my fist. Her throat had felt so good when I fucked it, and I squeeze my hand around my shaft, wanting to feel that again. Wanting to feel the clench of her hot throat around my length, trying to squeeze the cum out of me, to drink it down.
I should do this quickly, stroke hard and fast, come as efficiently as possible, take the edge off and go back to my room. But now that I’ve begun, I want to make it last. If I can’t fuck my wife, I want to look down at her face as I jerk myself off, imagine my cum painting those rosy lips.
God, I want so much more than that.
I want all of her again, her tight hot pussy and the clenching squeeze of her ass around me, the reminder that all of her body is mine, that I own it. That she ismywife, my bride, mine to fuck as I please. To take, to possess, to—
I grit my teeth, biting back a groan that could wake Caterina and give me away as a bolt of pure pleasure shoots from my shaft to my toes, curling them against the hardwood floor as I stroke from balls to tip, rubbing my palm over the damp cockhead as I lube myself with my own arousal, dripping now from the strength of my need.
Fuck. The desire to rip back the quilt and look at every inch of her naked body is almost uncontrollable, to roll her onto her back and part her thighs, and sink into her even more so. I crave her heat, her wetness, the way I feel her squeeze around me when I take her despite herself, and my cock throbs again in my fist, hard and eager and wanting. It takes every bit of self-control that I have to stay rooted to the spot, my strokes quick and fast now, my gaze on my wife’s lips as I feel my balls tighten with the impending orgasm that I know I can’t stave off much longer. It doesn’t matter how much I want this to last. I need to come.
And I will, with the memory of my wife’s mouth wrapped around me, her throat convulsing as she swallows down every drop—
Bladya!I curse in my head in Russian, my native language, all I can remember as the pleasure shoots through me, white-hot and racing across every nerve, lighting up my body as I curl my palm over my cockhead and feel myself shoot, hot and thick, into my hand. I squeeze my left hand over it, thrusting into my palm like a shallow pussy, still stroking with my right as I clench my jaw so hard that it feels as if my teeth could crack in the effort to stay silent. I don’t want to wake her and frighten her, but by god, I can’t say I would regret this even if I did. Next to being inside of her, this orgasm is one of the best I’ve had.
I come for longer than I ever have on my own, my cock pumping cum into my fist until I canfeelmy balls hanging lower, entirely drained. I rip my shirt off with one hand, balling it up in my left as I squeeze my still-hard erection with the other. I take a step closer to the bed, feeling my cock still pulsing with the last aftershocks of my release.
I shouldn’t do it. I could wake her, and besides, she’s asleep. She has no idea what I’ve done. But I can see the last drop of my cum pearling at the tip. I take another step closer until I can brush the velvet of my cockhead over her slightly parted lips, leaving that last drop of cum clinging to the full shape of her lower lip, glistening wetly in the darkness.
When I step back, my erection finally beginning to soften, she lets out another small, soft moan—and licks her lips in her sleep.
Fuck.My cock throbs, on the verge of hardening again, and I can feel it swell a little in my fist as I tuck myself away. I stare at her for a moment, almost unable to believe what I just saw.
The sight of her pink tongue running over her lower lip, licking up that droplet of my cum unaware in her sleep, will be something I remember as I jerk off for a long fucking time.
It’s almost enough to make me need to come again, here and now.
Instead, I retreat to my own room, telling myself not to push my luck. The hallway of the cabin is thankfully empty, though no one would dare question me anyway, not even Levin. I’d hoped that the release would make it easier for me to sleep, but instead, when I lie down, I’m wide awake, my body still pulsing with adrenaline. I stare up at the ceiling in the darkness, forcing myself to think of Caterina and her tongue running over her lips instead of all of the other thoughts that threaten to crowd in.
There will be plenty of time in the morning to solve those problems. For now, what I need is sleep so I can function with a clear head.
Unfortunately, sleep is hard to come by for me tonight.