Her eyes drift over me, over the blood, and I see her go even paler. “I can guess,” she says in a small voice.
“This is who I am, Sofia. A bloody man. A killer. A murderer. A torturer. A man who will do anything to preserve what I’ve been given. A man who will do anything to protect you, since you’re a part of that. You’remine, Sofia,” I growl, taking a step towards her. “I think you’ve forgotten that.”
“No, I just—”
“You just thought you could get away with it. You thought you could disobey me, and there would be no consequences. Look at me, Sofia!” My voice rises, filling the room, and she shrinks back. “Do I look like a man who can be disobeyed without consequences?”
I hate the fear that I see filling her eyes. I hate that I’m terrifying her, that I’m shouting at her, when all I want to do is take her into my arms and tell her that I need her to be safe, that the idea of her being killed because she couldn’t listen to me makes me feel half-mad, feral with rage. That if I can’t protect her, I don’t see what the fucking point of all of this is anymore.
But I can’t say any of that. Because I need to build the walls between Sofia and me so high that neither of us feels inclined to try to climb them again.
It’s the only way to keep us both safe.
Her eyes are misting over with tears, threatening to spill over, but I ignore it. My chest feels tight, like it’s hard to breathe, and just seeing her after being away for a few days makes me want her more than anything I’ve ever wanted in her life. I feel like an addict chasing his high, desperate for the heat of her body surrounding me, the blinding pleasure of sinking into her, the ecstasy of release.
With one swift motion, I stride forward, scooping her up and tossing her face-down onto the bed. She yelps, trying to turn to face me, but I push her skirt up over her ass, my arm pinning her down as I yank her thong off, leaving it tangled around one ankle as I push her legs apart.
“Luca!”
“Fuck, you’re already so wet,” I murmur, thrusting two of my fingers into her, hard. She moans, her ass pushing up into the air and back against my hand even as she wriggles in place. I’m already rock-hard, throbbing painfully with the need to come, and I drag my zipper down, releasing my aching cock. This is the only pleasure I can have, the only brief respite I get, and I fucking need it.
I need Sofia.
But it has to be in a way that pushes her away from me. Not one that brings us closer again, despite everything.
So I don’t make her come first. Instead, I jerk my fingers free of her clenching pussy, angling my cock head at her entrance and thrusting hard.
The pleasure that washes over me at the feeling of her tight pussy clamping down onto my cock makes my toes curl. I start to thrust, hard and fast, intent on my own orgasm. Underneath me, I can feel her squirming, grinding back against me in an effort to come too, her fingers clawing at the blanket. I don’t know if she’s trying to get away or trying to get more, but I tell myself I don’t care.
“Luca. Luca, please—”
“You want more? Good.” I snarl out the words, fucking her harder, feeling half-mad with it as I drive into her again and again. “Take my cock, like a good wife. You can do at least that, right?”
“Luca—” Sofia whimpers my name again. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”
“Shut up,” I growl. “Or do you want to swallow my cum, so you have something better to do with that mouth?”
Fuck.What am I doing? I don’t want to speak to her that way, the way I treated her when we resented each other so much, when we did all we could to hurt each other and drive each other away. But if kindness and romance make her not listen to me, puts her in danger—my job is to protect her. To keep her safe, even if it’s from herself. Even if it means being the don and not her husband. Even if the future we were trying for is impossible.
I can feel my balls tightening, my body throbbing with the intense pleasure of my oncoming orgasm. I thrust again, hard, and once more, wanting every bit of the sensation that I can get. I don’t know when we’ll do this again. Maybe never, and the thought makes me want to stay inside of her forever, keep her here until we drain each other to death. I can’t imagine never being inside of Sofia again.
But there’s no stopping it. Her body is clenching around mine rhythmically, and I can hear her moaning helplessly as she orgasms despite everything. Her back arches, and just as I feel myself reaching the point of no return, I do the only thing I can think of that will make her feel as if I’m just using her, that will push us apart even more than everything I’ve already done.
I pull out, gritting my teeth against the aching in my cock as I grab her waist and flip her over. And then, with her wide, surprised eyes looking up at me, I grab my throbbing length and start to jerk fast and hard, groaning with an almost painful sound, as I feel the first rush of my orgasm hit.
I’ve fantasized about coming all over Sofia since I first saw her. But not like this. She gasps with shock when the first spurt lands on her face, her hand going up numbly to touch her skin as my cum keeps shooting over her, landing on her breasts, her stomach, her pussy, her thighs. It seems to go on forever, shot after shot coating her skin as she turns away from me, the last spurts landing on her denim-clad hip.
She doesn’t say anything to me. She just looks away, refusing to meet my eyes.
I feel worse than I ever have in my entire life. I feel—heartbrokenis the only word I can come up with, even though that doesn’t make sense. You have to love someone in order to have your heart broken. And I’ve never loved Sofia.Right?
I just got temporarily caught up. Addicted. But now I’ve put a distance between us that she won’t soon try to cross. She’ll go back to her room. I’ll go back to avoiding her. We’ll fight sometimes. Maybe we’ll fuck. But we’ll never have another night where I come close to making love to her, cuddling her against my chest as we fall asleep with me still inside of her.
That can never happen again.
It never should have happened at all.
So why does the thought hurt so fucking bad?