He kisses me again, then, and the minutes blend into each other as we move against each other, all arching, straining bodies and damp skin, hands linking with one another as Luca thrusts into me in long, slow strokes that seem to go on forever, binding us together more closely than ever before.This is making love,I think dimly, and even as I remember that Luca told me that he couldn’t love me, that we would never be in love, that this would never be that, my mind and body and heart and soul all soundly reject it. I can’t imagine what love is if not this, two bodies straining towards pleasure together, locked in a tangle that neither of us ever want to escape from, breathing each other’s breath, feeling each other’s skin, our heartbeats pressed together until I’ve forgotten which is mine and which is his.
I feel him start to come as I do, my body tightening around him in a wave of pleasure that makes me feel as if I’m coming apart at the seams, dissolving entirely. I hear my high-pitched moans, my breathy gasps of his name in the same moment that Luca presses his mouth against my shoulder, groaning my name into my skin as his cock throbs inside of me, his orgasm spilling into me in a hot rush as we cling to each other, shuddering with pleasure that feels as if it might never end.
We stay like that for a long time, wrapped in each other’s arms, Luca still inside of me as his cock softens slightly, still partially hard. When we finally untangle, it’s only long enough for me to strip off the nightgown and toss it aside. Then Luca gathers me into his arms, pulling me against his chest as he sets his chin atop my head.
“I should take you on a honeymoon when this is all over,” he says softly. “Anywhere you want.”
I press my face against his chest, breathing in the scent of him. “That would be wonderful,” I whisper, and I mean it. I can’t imagine what it would be like to go on vacation with Luca, somewhere exotic and beautiful, just the two of us, but I suddenly want to find out. I want to escape this place more than anything with him, to go somewhere that the Bratva can’t find us, where all of the dangers hanging over our heads vanish.
“Franco and I have to go try to handle the Russian problem tomorrow,” he says quietly as if hearing my thoughts. “I might be gone for a few days. Promise me you’ll stay here, Sofia. Promise you won’t get into any trouble, that you’ll do as I’ve asked, and be careful. If you want to see Caterina, she comes here. I’ll have Carmen check in on you. It’s dangerous right now,” he adds as if I don’t know that already. “I need your word that you won’t do anything you’re not supposed to.”
Any other time, I might have bristled at being given orders, but I’m too relaxed and tired.He’s just looking out for me,I think, my brain foggy with arousal and pleasure. “Okay,” I mumble, curling closer to his chest. “I promise.”
“Good.” Luca leans down, kissing me softly, and he reaches for my leg then, pulling it over his as I feel his cock harden against me. “Let’s do that again.”
* * *
He’s gonewhen I wake up. There’s a note for me letting me know that he didn’t want to wake me and that he’ll be back as soon as he can. For the first time, I notice how empty the bottom of the note looks with only his name signed. Nolove. Nothing other than his name scrawled across the bottom.
Last night felt like more. It felt like love. But I know better than to allow myself to think something like that. It’s only going to lead to hurt in the end.
Enjoy what you have,I think to myself.It’s better than what you thought it would be.
Caterina comes over a little while after breakfast. She looks tired and more sad than usual, and my chest tightens at the sight of her face. “Are you okay?” I ask, making her a cup of tea as she sits down in the kitchen. “Was last night—”
“It was fine,” she says, her mouth twitching slightly. “Better than I expected, I guess? I don’t know what I expected, exactly. Franco didn’t seem too disappointed. He liked that I was a virgin, but that only works once, you know. So hopefully, he was happy enough to enjoy it again anyway.”
“Was he nice?” I frown at her. “He didn’t hurt you, did he?”
Caterina shakes her head. “He was gentle. It just—I don’t know what I thought, really. I mean that. It was just more—detached, I guess.” She takes the tea from me gratefully. “Maybe if things were more relaxed, if we could go on a honeymoon—” she shrugs. “But of course we can’t, with the Bratva at our doorstep. And then my father is supposed to be released soon, but his condition still isn’t great—and without my mother, I need to keep an eye on him.” She pauses. “Which is why I came over, honestly, not just to talk about Franco.”
“Oh?” I look at her curiously. “What did you want to talk about?”
“I wanted to ask you if you’d come to the hospital with me this afternoon. I’m supposed to go and talk to the doctor before they release him to go home, set up home health aide care until he finishes recovering from the surgery, and—” Caterina takes a deep, shaky breath. “I just can’t go alone. I really can’t. Please come with me?”
More than anything, I want to tell her yes. The thought of leaving her to handle all of this on her own cuts me to the core—but I remember the seriousness in Luca’s voice last night. “I promised Luca I wouldn’t leave,” I say slowly. “He asked me specifically to stay here while he was gone, not to do anything I shouldn’t. He’ll be upset if—”
“It’d be different if he knew what it was,” Caterina says insistently. I can see from her expression how desperately she doesn’t want to have to be alone. “And besides, he doesn’t have to know. I won’t say anything, I swear.”
There’s no way that Luca won’t know. I’m positive he’ll find out somehow. He always does.But maybe she’s right,I rationalize. Maybe he would understand if he knew the circumstances. And besides, what could possibly happen? Caterina has as much security with her right now as I do.It’ll be fine,I tell myself.She needs you.
“Alright,” I relent. “I’ll go.”
Even as the words come out of my mouth, I know it’s a bad idea. But the way Caterina’s face lights up makes me certain I’m doing the right thing.
As long as Luca isn’t too angry.
* * *
When we walkinto the hospital room, Rossi’s eyes light up when he sees his daughter—the only real positive emotion I ever see from him—but his expression darkens just as quickly when he sees me. I hang back while he talks quietly to Caterina, feeling uncomfortably out of place.I’m just here to support Caterina,I remind myself as they talk, taking a seat near the window.
“I’m going to go talk to the doctor,” Caterina says finally. “Wait here, Sofia? I don’t want him to be alone.”
Being alone in a room with Rossi is the last thing I would ever want to do. But I just nod, feeling stuck now that I’ve come here to help Caterina. I feel like I’m supposed to do whatever it is she needs from me, so I stay put, shifting in my seat as she walks out into the hall to find the doctor.
“You.” Rossi’s voice cuts through the silence in the room, cold and hard and rasping. “Come here.”
“I’m just waiting for Caterina to come back,” I start to say, and Rossi coughs, pushing himself up a little.