Beautiful, she thought. And in that moment of discovery she relinquished the entrenched belief that she was plain and unpleasing. Unworthy.
Whatever the future held, she would face it as a new woman.
Bold and free.
She saw herself through his eyes. Slight, small curves, but a symmetry there, a simplicity of line like the curve of a porcelain vase.
A vase that was going to shatter from the tension if he didn’t touch her soon, if he didn’t calm the butterflies stampeding in her belly.
She turned her head, nestled into his neck. Kissed his warm skin.
She slid her hands, with his still covering them, over her breasts.
She squeezed the tips of her breasts between her fingers, and his fingers tightened over hers.
It felt right. As if the pleasure of his touch was a reward for all of the hardship she’d endured.
He cupped her hands, moving with her, covering her. Lower. Over her belly, beneath the edges of her wrap.
Lower. Between her thighs.
Only thin muslin obstructing his access to the place that ached for his touch.
“You’re the most exquisite thing I’ve ever seen.” His eyes were hooded, his breathing shallow. “Do you believe me?”
The surge of elation she’d felt on stage returned, only now there was a difference. She didn’t have to wear the costume of a Pharaoh to feel powerful and bold.
She only needed to believe him. Believe in herself.
“Yes,” she whispered. “I believe you.”
“Then I’ve achieved my aim.” He straightened, dropping his hands from her body.
He would leave her now.
She didn’t want him to leave.
She turned toward him. “Why don’t you stay for a little while? We can... talk.”
“That’s not a good idea. You’ve already been hurt tonight.” He brushed his finger over her lip. “I don’t want to cause more damage. Mark you in any other way.”
“Edgar, please stop thinking of me as some fragile female who can’t make her own decisions. I’m resilient. Life has thrown slings and arrows at me and I’ve survived and been the stronger for it.”
“I employ you to care for my children. I don’t expect or want anything else from you. I respect you, Mari.”
He was too honorable to give her what she craved. But the wanton side she’d discovered wouldn’t remain silent.
She was through with pretending to be meek; pretending that her needs and wants didn’t matter.
“What if I want more from you? You’ve awakened something in me. I want... I want you to satisfy this craving.” She pressed her fists against her belly. “This wanting. I’m the one with expectations.” She closed her eyes.
“I expect you to kiss me again,” she whispered.
“I can never kiss you again,” Edgar said, the words echoing dully like a blade struck against stone. “But I can satisfy your craving.”
Her eyes flew open, the blue vivid against the copper of her freckles.
She didn’t know what he meant. He hardly knew what he meant. All he knew was that if he kissed her he would lose everything.