“Aw, she likes you!” Jessie says.
“Of course she likes me, she knows I’m family.” I grin. “Jessie, Dean, this is Lexi.”
Lexi and Jessie greet each other, and we settle into the stadium seats, the men sitting beside each other, with the women on the outside.
“Well, they’re getting the hits they need, if they can only get some pitching,” Dean says.
“Yeah, they’ve got the starting pitching, if they can only get some relief. They blew another save last night—it’s the tenth one they’ve blown this month.”
Jessie extricates the baby from the carrier and drapes the fabric over her shoulder, pulling up her shirt to nurse.
“Don’t look at my wife’s breasts.” Dean's warning is probably only a half-joke.
I hold up my hands. “I wouldn’t dream of it.” I reach out to squeeze Lexi’s thigh.
When the little one finishes nursing, Dean takes her from Jessie, holding her to his shoulder and patting her back. He’s already an old pro handling her.
It almost makes me miss having little ones.Almost.But those days were so long ago, I’ve blocked out how intense fatherhood is when you have young children. The twins made everything twice as intense.
“So how is fatherhood? What do the two of you do all day, just sit around and stare at your little princess?”
Jessie laughs. “Pretty much. Dean made me quit work five months into the pregnancy, and he has flexible hours, so we're home a lot. This is an exciting outing for me.”
Lexi leans forward, finally relaxed enough to join the conversation. “What did you do before you quit?”
“Nursing assistant.”
Lexi launches into easy conversation with Jessie, flashing her beautiful smile. I can’t help but notice how easily she fits in with family. I never in a million years could’ve brought Stacy to an event like this and expect her to make intelligent conversation.
“I’m blessed.” Dean sounds truly religious about it as he gazes at his wife.
“Jessie, may I hold her?” I lean across Dean to look at her. “I’m good with babies, I promise.”
Jessie smiles. “Sure.”
Dean carefully transfers the little bundle to me, and I place her on her back on my lap, cradling her tiny head in my palms, staring at her miniature features. It’s been so long since my girls were babies, but the wonder and awe of being a new parent floods back like it was yesterday.
“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” I ask.
Lexi murmurs in assent.
Little Olive looks straight into my eyes, her mouth tugging into a lopsided smile.
“Thank you for the smile,” I whisper. To Lexi, I say, “It’s like looking into the eyes of God, isn’t it?”
When she doesn’t answer, I look up to see her staring at me with a strange look.
“Do you want children?”
Pain flickers across her face, and I want to kick myself in the balls. What in the fuck am I thinking? I’ve told her there’s no possible chance we’re having a real relationship, and then I ask her if she wants the full package? What an idiot.
“I used to. I just haven’t been...in the right situation to think about it.”
I’m an asshole. I have no interest in remarrying or starting a new family. I’ve been there, done that. No need to do it again.
Although the thought of Lexi’s belly swollen with my child does ignite a primal sense of pride.
I pick up the baby and inhale the smell of her, kissing the top of her soft brown curls before handing her back to Joey.