That’s the only reason she keeps denying my help.
My face remains impassive as my heart breaks. I recognize that look on her face.She means it. I look deep into her eyes that burn with the crispness of reddish-orange autumn leaves lit aflame by the sun. Glowing amber pools dare me to make a move.
Now that she’s issued such a challenge, she knows I can’t back down. She’s clever. And perhaps slightly reckless by putting such a wedge between us.
“If that’s what you want.” I bow my head as I head for the door. “Then it’ll be as you wish.”
Liya grabs my arm. “Pavel, wait.”
I shake her off. “I’m a man of my word, Liya.”
“Don’t you dare walk away from me!”
I pause in the doorway, peering at her over my shoulder. “I can’t walk away from someone who already left.”
I step into the hallway. My back aches as my heart screams at me to turn around.Apologize! Make it better! Don’t let this rift grow any wider than it needs to be!
But what’s the point?
As soon as the raid is over—the moment Zoya returns to us broken and battered—I’m making my move. I’m doing exactly as I’ve said. Liya made her threat to leave once the war ended.
I’d like to see you try.
And I will meet her challenge head-on.
Chapter Twenty-One
Liya
My heart flutters in my chest as I brush my hair. Every move I make is mechanical and rigid, purely done out of necessity rather than desire. I brush my teeth. I brush my hair. I make the bed. It’s ordinary. It’s standard. It’s routine.
But it doesn’t feel likeme.
I glance at the bed. The side where Pavel sleeps is currently undisturbed. After our argument the other day, he left me standing in a pool of anger and frustration in the middle of our bedroom. He doesn’t care how I feel. He only cares about how he appears to the rest of the criminal world.
And once the great pakhan speaks, he doesn’t take back what he’s said.
Maybe he apologizes. Maybe he’s genuine about it in the moment. But it’s only ever temporary, just something to be done to advance his agenda. He grits his teeth and bears it so he can do whathewants. Not to make me feel better. Not to repair anything.
It’s only for him. That’s how it’s always been.
I close my eyes while turning back to the mirror. I don’t even want to look at the betrayal written all over my face. It’s all I can think about.
I can’t walk away from someone who already left.
That voice comes unbidden. It haunts my mind, reverberating off the shadowy walls that house my thoughts. Nothing else drifts through the filters. I’m afforded no comfort or peace.
Only the realization that Pavel will ruin this before I even have a chance to leave.
My stomach flips. I do my best to massage my aching gut, but it’s driving me crazy to think about all the ways he’s going to sabotage my escape. All my carefully laid plans are crumbling.
And it’s because he refuses to stop walking the path of destruction. When I open my eyes, I don’t see anger in the mirror. I don’t see fear or anxiety.
I see defeat. Admission.
He let me down. I gave him a warning and he tore right through it, choosing his Bratva over our marriage. Like he always does. Like he’ll continue to do.
I know I can’t stay. I know I can’t let my child be born into this life.