It weakens my legs. “I’m fine. I swear.”
“Tell me about Zoya.”
“It was a picture. Well…multiple pictures.”
He squeezes hard just once. “Of what?”
“She was…” I shudder. “She was…”
He clutches my back. I don’t need to say anything else. He knows.
He releases a slow ragged breath. “Is everything ready to go with the DA?”
My heart quivers as I nod. “Yes. It’ll be over soon.” I cling to him, unable to move, unable to figure out whether he’ll forgive me or not when this does eventually end. “It’ll all be over soon…”
Chapter Sixteen
Pavel
Another day passes, and another brick is laid on the wall rising between Liya and me. While I do everything I can to support her, she allows it to grow taller, building the wall higher each time I try to dismantle it.
We’ve done this dance before. How many more times will I do this until I learn my lesson?
She’s making me choose between being a pakhan and being a husband. The two defy peaceful coexistence, constantly battling each other—both in my body and mind. My bones are caked with exhaustion at the thought of another fight. I need to stop. I need to rest.
I thought I could balance these two worlds. I thought I could handle the responsibilities required by both. A strike at my enemies is not the same as striking at my personal problems. And even if Liya may open her body to me, I know her heart remains closed.
These thoughts brew in my mind, forcing me to leave the office and wander into the kitchen. I pass Stepan sitting at the table with a copy of theNY Post.
“There’s nothing but trash in there, Stepan,” I state. “You won’t learn anything.”
He rustles the pages, folds the paper in half, and drops it near the edge of the table. “Is that so, Pavel Sergeyevich?”
I step toward the counter and grab a mug. Hot coffee waits for me in the machine, the smell enticing. My brain feels like static.
“I’ve been up since four, Stepan. Just get to the point.”
“Read the headline, please.”
His tone is somber, almost like a warning. It draws me to the table without so much as a glance spared at the coffee machine.
My eyes roam the page that Stepan has folded for me.
A couple of my knuckles pop as I grip the mug. White noise floods my ears. The more I absorb the text, the more my chest tightens. My legs lock in place, and my neck stiffens as I struggle to breathe.
Air cycles through my lungs. But I don’t feel it.
I can’t feel anything except the pure acidic betrayal coursing through my veins.
Crime Boss Wife Tells All in Shocking Admission!
Crimson tunnels my vision. I feel myself disappearing. For a second, it feels appealing to leave my body, to wander off into the psychological unknown and leave all my problems behind. It might not be as effective as striking my problems head-on. But it’s tolerable.
Unlike Liya.
Stepan folds his hands on the table. “She revealed everything. The marriage contract, the baby shower, the hits on the NYPD. Even all the dirty cops like Sharp.” He pauses to grab the paper. “But there’s a catch.”
I don’t blink as I wait for Stepan to continue.