No. I decide. Never.
A weak smile tugs my lips.This child is going to be a hard-headed little hellion set on whatever he or she wants in life.Boy or girl.
And then, I shut the box. I walk back to the crib. I sit down and lift the screwdriver.
Will my child do as I say?
I reinforce the base and test it. The wood is sturdy. As I raise one side of the crib to attach, thunder rumbles softly overhead. I glance at the roof.
Do I want my son at the head of the Suvorov Bratva and Citta Nostra? Or something else?
I frown as I return my focus to the crib. I grab a few fresh screws and start fastening the side panel in place.
Do I want my daughter to do whatever is asked of her? Or do I want to spoil her?
Horror strikes me.
That’s what any pakhan would have for his daughter—he would simply tell her what to do. Karina was lucky Father died as young as he did. Had he continued to live for even five more years, she would’ve been married off for an alliance. She’d have been a queen in name, but a slave in all other matters of life.
But that’s not what happened.
I lift the instructions, study them, and start working on the adjustable side of the crib. It’s starting to come together. And the more I put the pieces in place, the more reality sets in.
It doesn’t matter what the future holds.
Thunder rumbles again, much closer. Rain patters the roof lightly for a while, creating a soft sheen of noise that helps me focus.
Because the only thing that matters is that Liya is next to me.
Chapter Thirteen
Liya
Daylight kisses my skin. It’s the same as the day before, warm with the promise of a new day. But it’s strange, too, like it won’t cleanse the shadows snapping at my heels. Becausenothingcan chase away the horrors of my existence. Nothing can absolve me of the darkness that threatens to overwhelm me.
Still…I have to try.
I have to get up.
I have to move forward.
I slide from the bed, walk over to the bathroom, and carry out the usual morning routines—use the toilet, brush my teeth, and stand in front of the mirror to inspect my stomach.A bit pudgy in the middle. Small everywhere else.Same as the day before. And the day before that.
I rub my protruding gut. “Ugh.”
“Beautiful.”
I don’t turn around, and I don’t say anything. It doesn’t shock me that Pavel is standing there behind me without announcing himself. I’m as used to sharing this space with him as I was back at the penthouse.I guess those early days prepared me for the worst.
After putting away my toothbrush, I walk past him.
“I mean it,” he says as I wander to the closet. “You look beautiful, Liya.”
My gut flips. I smile weakly as I hold my stomach and open the closet door. I still don’t look at him. “Thanks.”
“I got you a few maternity dresses.”
Thatmakes me look at him. “How?”